Before we discuss a specific method in order for a child to self-regulate his temper, it is important to point out that it is critical for the child with ADHD to understand that he must control his temper with adults. I am a firm believer in being honest and truthful to children with ADHD about exactly the difference between appropriate and inappropriate behavior. They must try to figure out what upset them so much as to cause them to have a temper tantrum in front of an adult.
Let us discuss this plan in steps: You can obviously eliminate any steps that are unnecessary or those that are too numerous for a child with ADHD to remember. You may find that designing task card might be useful here.
1. The child begins to become upset more easily than usual.
2. He takes three big, deep breaths, counting as he is breathing in and out. He closes his eyes and thinks of something pleasant, such as going out to dinner with his parents or getting a video game as a present.
3. Despite trying to do one or all of the things in step 2, he feels his temper coming on.
4. He tries to go for a walk somewhere as an attempt to calm down. For example, he could take a walk down the hall or to another teacher’s room who has been responsive to him.
5. He seeks someone out whom he feels he can talk to about what has upset him. This person could be the school psychologist, a friendly teacher, the school nurse, or an older student who acts as a mentor. He talks to that person about what has upset him.
6. He feels calmer now.
Monday, January 10, 2011
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Policy Statement about Bullying from Arne Duncan
U.S. Department of Education Search
Key Policy Letters from the Education Secretary and Deputy Secretary
December 16, 2010
December 16, 2010
Dear Colleagues:
Recent incidents of bullying have demonstrated its potentially devastating effects on students, schools, and communities and have spurred a sense of urgency among State and local educators and policymakers to take action to combat bullying. The U.S. Department of Education (Department) shares this sense of urgency and is taking steps to help school officials effectively reduce bullying in our Nation’s schools. Bullying can be extremely damaging to students, can disrupt an environment conducive to learning, and should not be tolerated in our schools.
Along with our partners from the Departments of Health and Human Services, Agriculture, Interior, Defense, and Justice, we are in the process of developing key strategies to support and encourage efforts to prevent bullying in our schools. Our ongoing work has included the first-ever Federal Bullying Prevention Summit in August, the launch of our interagency bullying-resource Web site, http://www.bullyinginfo.org, the continued support and growth of the Stop Bullying Now! campaign, and the development of research and guidance on bullying prevention. The Department also awarded eleven Safe and Supportive Schools Grants to states to develop measurement systems to assess schools’ conditions for learning, including the prevalence of bullying, and to implement programs to improve overall school safety.
Recent guidance includes a Dear Colleague Letter issued on October 26 by the Department’s Office for Civil Rights (OCR) that explains how, under certain circumstances, bullying may trigger legal responsibilities for schools under the civil rights laws enforced by OCR and the Department of Justice that prohibit discrimination and harassment based on race, color, national origin, sex, disability, and religion.1 Schools must protect students from bullying and harassment on these bases, in addition to any obligations under state and local law.
Numerous stakeholders, including the National Conference of State Legislatures, the National Association of School Boards, the Leadership Conference on Civil and Human Rights, individual State legislators, and local school districts, among others, have asked the Department to provide assistance in crafting effective anti-bullying laws and policies. In response, the Department has prepared the attached summary of examples that illustrate how some states have tried to prevent and reduce bullying through legislation. States and local school districts can use these examples as technical assistance in drafting effective anti-bullying laws, regulations, and policies. The Department will also be working to produce additional helpful resource information.
Forty-five states have already passed laws addressing bullying or harassment in school. Ultimately State officials will determine whether new or revised legislation and policies should be introduced to update, improve, or add bullying prevention provisions. It is our hope that this information will be of assistance to State officials and other interested stakeholders.
Though laws are only a part of the cure for bullying, the adoption, publication, and enforcement of a clear and effective anti-bullying policy sends a message that all incidents of bullying must be addressed immediately and effectively, and that such behavior will not be tolerated. State laws, and their related district- and school-level policies, cannot work in isolation, however. When responding to bullying incidents, schools and districts should remember that maintenance of a safe and equitable learning environment for all students, including both victims and perpetrators of bullying, often requires a more comprehensive approach.
If you wish to receive further technical assistance on addressing bullying, please do not hesitate to contact the Department’s Office of Safe and Drug-Free Schools by visiting its Web site at http://www2.ed.gov/about/offices/list/osdfs/index.html or by calling at 202-245-7896.
I look forward to continuing our work together to ensure equal access to education and to promote safe and respectful schools for all of our students.
Sincerely,
/s/
Arne Duncan
Enclosure MS Word (100 K)
1The Federal civil rights laws enforced by the Department include Title VI of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, which prohibits discrimination on the basis of race, color, or national origin; Title IX of the Education Amendments of 1972, which prohibits discrimination on the basis of sex; and Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973 and Title II of the Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990, which prohibit discrimination on the basis of disability. OCR’s Dear Colleague letter on discriminatory harassment under these statutes is available at http://www2.ed.gov/about/offices/list/ocr/letters/colleague-201010.html. The Department of Justice has jurisdiction to enforce Title IV of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, which prohibits discrimination on the basis of race, color, sex, religion, or national origin.
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Key Policy Letters from the Education Secretary and Deputy Secretary
December 16, 2010
December 16, 2010
Dear Colleagues:
Recent incidents of bullying have demonstrated its potentially devastating effects on students, schools, and communities and have spurred a sense of urgency among State and local educators and policymakers to take action to combat bullying. The U.S. Department of Education (Department) shares this sense of urgency and is taking steps to help school officials effectively reduce bullying in our Nation’s schools. Bullying can be extremely damaging to students, can disrupt an environment conducive to learning, and should not be tolerated in our schools.
Along with our partners from the Departments of Health and Human Services, Agriculture, Interior, Defense, and Justice, we are in the process of developing key strategies to support and encourage efforts to prevent bullying in our schools. Our ongoing work has included the first-ever Federal Bullying Prevention Summit in August, the launch of our interagency bullying-resource Web site, http://www.bullyinginfo.org, the continued support and growth of the Stop Bullying Now! campaign, and the development of research and guidance on bullying prevention. The Department also awarded eleven Safe and Supportive Schools Grants to states to develop measurement systems to assess schools’ conditions for learning, including the prevalence of bullying, and to implement programs to improve overall school safety.
Recent guidance includes a Dear Colleague Letter issued on October 26 by the Department’s Office for Civil Rights (OCR) that explains how, under certain circumstances, bullying may trigger legal responsibilities for schools under the civil rights laws enforced by OCR and the Department of Justice that prohibit discrimination and harassment based on race, color, national origin, sex, disability, and religion.1 Schools must protect students from bullying and harassment on these bases, in addition to any obligations under state and local law.
Numerous stakeholders, including the National Conference of State Legislatures, the National Association of School Boards, the Leadership Conference on Civil and Human Rights, individual State legislators, and local school districts, among others, have asked the Department to provide assistance in crafting effective anti-bullying laws and policies. In response, the Department has prepared the attached summary of examples that illustrate how some states have tried to prevent and reduce bullying through legislation. States and local school districts can use these examples as technical assistance in drafting effective anti-bullying laws, regulations, and policies. The Department will also be working to produce additional helpful resource information.
Forty-five states have already passed laws addressing bullying or harassment in school. Ultimately State officials will determine whether new or revised legislation and policies should be introduced to update, improve, or add bullying prevention provisions. It is our hope that this information will be of assistance to State officials and other interested stakeholders.
Though laws are only a part of the cure for bullying, the adoption, publication, and enforcement of a clear and effective anti-bullying policy sends a message that all incidents of bullying must be addressed immediately and effectively, and that such behavior will not be tolerated. State laws, and their related district- and school-level policies, cannot work in isolation, however. When responding to bullying incidents, schools and districts should remember that maintenance of a safe and equitable learning environment for all students, including both victims and perpetrators of bullying, often requires a more comprehensive approach.
If you wish to receive further technical assistance on addressing bullying, please do not hesitate to contact the Department’s Office of Safe and Drug-Free Schools by visiting its Web site at http://www2.ed.gov/about/offices/list/osdfs/index.html or by calling at 202-245-7896.
I look forward to continuing our work together to ensure equal access to education and to promote safe and respectful schools for all of our students.
Sincerely,
/s/
Arne Duncan
Enclosure MS Word (100 K)
1The Federal civil rights laws enforced by the Department include Title VI of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, which prohibits discrimination on the basis of race, color, or national origin; Title IX of the Education Amendments of 1972, which prohibits discrimination on the basis of sex; and Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973 and Title II of the Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990, which prohibit discrimination on the basis of disability. OCR’s Dear Colleague letter on discriminatory harassment under these statutes is available at http://www2.ed.gov/about/offices/list/ocr/letters/colleague-201010.html. The Department of Justice has jurisdiction to enforce Title IV of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, which prohibits discrimination on the basis of race, color, sex, religion, or national origin.
Printable view
Last Modified: 12/16/2010
Student loans, forgiveness
Pell grants
Accreditation, schools
Grants
No Child Left Behind
More
Key Policy Letters
News
Press releases
Speeches
Media advisories
Secretary's schedule
Video
Newsletters
How do I find...
Student loans, forgiveness
Pell grants
Accreditation, schools
Grants
No Child Left Behind
More
Funding
Federal student aid
Apply for grants
Contract opportunities
Forecast of funding opportunities
Research & Statistics
Institute of Ed Sciences
Education statistics
Evaluation reports
Nation's Report Card
Doing What Works
State information
State ed data
Policy
Recovery Act (ED)
Obama ed plan
Recent guidance
Guidance documents
Policy by program
NCLB policy letters
No Child Left Behind
Programs
By subject
By title
By CFDA#
Search
About ED
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ED offices
Senior staff
Political appointees
Contact
Boards, committees
Budget, performance
Annual reports
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Recursos en español
Site Policies and Notices
FOIA
Privacy
Security
Information quality
No FEAR Act data
Improper payments
Help
Other Sites
Whitehouse.gov
Recovery.gov
USA.gov
ExpectMore.gov
Benefits.gov
Friday, January 7, 2011
National Research Council Urges Greater Focus on Math in Early Childhood Classrooms than Literacy!
NRC Urges Greater Focus on Preschool Math (Courtesy of Education Week)
By Sean Cavanagh
Early-childhood education, whether delivered through federal preschool programs or other means, needs to be revamped to place more emphasis on math instruction and prepare adults to cover that material more effectively, a new report concludes.
The report, released today by the congressionally chartered National Research Council, reiterates a point commonly made by early-childhood advocates: that mathematics is often neglected in prekindergarten settings, in contrast to the heavy focus placed on literacy.
That neglect stems in part from preschool instructors’ lack of comfort with math, as well as parents’ fear of that subject, the authors say.
“It’s fair to say the attention is almost entirely on reading and literacy, without recognizing the importance of math,” said Christopher T. Cross, who co-edited the report and chaired the committee that produced it.
That lack of attention comes despite research that shows many young students arriving in preschool with an ability, and a willingness, to tackle math lessons, added Mr. Cross, the chairman of Cross & Joftus, an education policy consulting company based in Washington and California.
“There’s a natural curiosity about mathematical things,” he added, “even if they don’t call it math.”
Patchwork System
The consequences of not providing an early math foundation to disadvantaged students, given their more limited opportunities to learn the subject away from school, can be especially great, the authors found. At the same time, high-quality math instruction can help overcome “systematic inequities in educational outcomes and later career opportunities,” they say.
The report focuses primarily on children between the ages of 2 and 6, according to the NRC.
The system of early-childhood education in the United States is a “loosely sewn-together patchwork” of programs and services, as the report describes it. About 60 percent of preschool-age children are in “center-based” care, including services run through the federal Head Start program; roughly 21 percent receive some sort of home-based care; and about 20 percent have no formal child-care arrangements, according to the NRC report.
In addition to the Head Start program, which serves an estimated 908,000 students, many children in center-based care are enrolled in state-funded preschool, as the report points out. A number of states have moved to fund preschool programs for low-income families in recent years.
It follows that bringing about the changes in preschool teachers’ training and professional development, Mr. Cross said, would likely require action from several players, including federal officials who administer Head Start, professional associations, and state licensing programs.
“It’s a complex set of actors who would have to implement this,” Mr. Cross said.
Whole Numbers, Geometry
The report recommends that providers of early-childhood education revise their math curricula, based partly on research on children’s cognitive development. States should overhaul their standards and guidelines to reflect that research, and so should publishers, the authors say.
But the report also goes further, calling for early-childhood programs to focus on developing students’ skills in a number of specific areas of math, which the authors see as crucial. Those topics include whole numbers, operations, geometry, and measurement.
In order to give early-childhood providers direction, the report’s authors felt “we couldn’t be too abstract,” Mr. Cross explained. The report explores strategies for exploring that material in an age-appropriate way.
The authors also call for new course requirements for early-childhood teachers, with a focus on crucial math content, and on honing teachers’ ability to deliver math instruction in different settings—to individual students, for instance, and to large and small groups of them. It also calls for new professional-development efforts, to help teachers already working in preschools.
Parents can also be encouraged to promote early math learning, the report says. Early-childhood providers can do more to provide guidance to families working with children at home; there also needs to be an expansion of informal math instruction through media and technology, the authors say.
Christina Satkowski, a program associate in education policy at the New America Foundation, a nonpartisan think tank in Washington, said interest in promoting more focused, early-childhood math instruction has received considerable attention from state officials, academic researchers, and others in recent years.
An important, next step is to provide stronger links between early-childhood math content and later grades, she argued.
“At the moment, many pre-K and early-childhood programs are disconnected from the K-12 system,” Ms. Satkowski said in an e-mail. “This report emphasizes the needs to create a seamless pre-K to 3rd grade continuum of math learning.”
Working Math Into Play
The National Research Council, headquartered in Washington, is one of several nonprofit institutions charged with providing advice to Congress, as part of the National Academies. The early-childhood study received funding from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Service’s Office of Head Start; the agency’s Office of Planning Research and Evaluation; and the Ewing Marion Kauffman Foundation, which has provided funding for coverage of math and science issues at Education Week.
Ms. Satkowski said she believed the report could broaden understanding of how many different routes into math are available to teachers and parents.
“[E]arly math instruction doesn’t have to be flashcards and worksheets,” Ms. Satkowski explained. “A good pre-K or kindergarten teacher knows how to effectively integrate math into child-initiated play activities with questions about the number of rocks in their pail, the relative size of the two spiders they drew,” and other means.
Vol. 28, Issue 36
By Sean Cavanagh
Early-childhood education, whether delivered through federal preschool programs or other means, needs to be revamped to place more emphasis on math instruction and prepare adults to cover that material more effectively, a new report concludes.
The report, released today by the congressionally chartered National Research Council, reiterates a point commonly made by early-childhood advocates: that mathematics is often neglected in prekindergarten settings, in contrast to the heavy focus placed on literacy.
That neglect stems in part from preschool instructors’ lack of comfort with math, as well as parents’ fear of that subject, the authors say.
“It’s fair to say the attention is almost entirely on reading and literacy, without recognizing the importance of math,” said Christopher T. Cross, who co-edited the report and chaired the committee that produced it.
That lack of attention comes despite research that shows many young students arriving in preschool with an ability, and a willingness, to tackle math lessons, added Mr. Cross, the chairman of Cross & Joftus, an education policy consulting company based in Washington and California.
“There’s a natural curiosity about mathematical things,” he added, “even if they don’t call it math.”
Patchwork System
The consequences of not providing an early math foundation to disadvantaged students, given their more limited opportunities to learn the subject away from school, can be especially great, the authors found. At the same time, high-quality math instruction can help overcome “systematic inequities in educational outcomes and later career opportunities,” they say.
The report focuses primarily on children between the ages of 2 and 6, according to the NRC.
The system of early-childhood education in the United States is a “loosely sewn-together patchwork” of programs and services, as the report describes it. About 60 percent of preschool-age children are in “center-based” care, including services run through the federal Head Start program; roughly 21 percent receive some sort of home-based care; and about 20 percent have no formal child-care arrangements, according to the NRC report.
In addition to the Head Start program, which serves an estimated 908,000 students, many children in center-based care are enrolled in state-funded preschool, as the report points out. A number of states have moved to fund preschool programs for low-income families in recent years.
It follows that bringing about the changes in preschool teachers’ training and professional development, Mr. Cross said, would likely require action from several players, including federal officials who administer Head Start, professional associations, and state licensing programs.
“It’s a complex set of actors who would have to implement this,” Mr. Cross said.
Whole Numbers, Geometry
The report recommends that providers of early-childhood education revise their math curricula, based partly on research on children’s cognitive development. States should overhaul their standards and guidelines to reflect that research, and so should publishers, the authors say.
But the report also goes further, calling for early-childhood programs to focus on developing students’ skills in a number of specific areas of math, which the authors see as crucial. Those topics include whole numbers, operations, geometry, and measurement.
In order to give early-childhood providers direction, the report’s authors felt “we couldn’t be too abstract,” Mr. Cross explained. The report explores strategies for exploring that material in an age-appropriate way.
The authors also call for new course requirements for early-childhood teachers, with a focus on crucial math content, and on honing teachers’ ability to deliver math instruction in different settings—to individual students, for instance, and to large and small groups of them. It also calls for new professional-development efforts, to help teachers already working in preschools.
Parents can also be encouraged to promote early math learning, the report says. Early-childhood providers can do more to provide guidance to families working with children at home; there also needs to be an expansion of informal math instruction through media and technology, the authors say.
Christina Satkowski, a program associate in education policy at the New America Foundation, a nonpartisan think tank in Washington, said interest in promoting more focused, early-childhood math instruction has received considerable attention from state officials, academic researchers, and others in recent years.
An important, next step is to provide stronger links between early-childhood math content and later grades, she argued.
“At the moment, many pre-K and early-childhood programs are disconnected from the K-12 system,” Ms. Satkowski said in an e-mail. “This report emphasizes the needs to create a seamless pre-K to 3rd grade continuum of math learning.”
Working Math Into Play
The National Research Council, headquartered in Washington, is one of several nonprofit institutions charged with providing advice to Congress, as part of the National Academies. The early-childhood study received funding from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Service’s Office of Head Start; the agency’s Office of Planning Research and Evaluation; and the Ewing Marion Kauffman Foundation, which has provided funding for coverage of math and science issues at Education Week.
Ms. Satkowski said she believed the report could broaden understanding of how many different routes into math are available to teachers and parents.
“[E]arly math instruction doesn’t have to be flashcards and worksheets,” Ms. Satkowski explained. “A good pre-K or kindergarten teacher knows how to effectively integrate math into child-initiated play activities with questions about the number of rocks in their pail, the relative size of the two spiders they drew,” and other means.
Vol. 28, Issue 36
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Especially for Teachers: How Children with ADHD can Control their Temper with Adults
When you, as the child’s teacher, see a child with ADHD becoming frustrated and showing his temper, you probably ask yourself, “How in the world does this child have the ‘wherewithal’ to show his temper with me, his teacher?” Well, believe it or not, I can guarantee you that the child with ADHD does not want to show his temper with someone with whom he may be embarrassed to interact later. Not that this is an excuse, but all of a sudden, everything builds up and becomes overwhelming in these children’s lives.
Think of a soda bottle that has been filled up to the top and then shaken up. What happens when you try to open it, especially if you try to open it too quickly? I am only too familiar with this happening to me at the wrong time and in the wrong place. The soda bubbles overflow uncontrollably. (It happened to me in the former Shea Stadium. I am sure that you can imagine that the man in front of me who was sprayed with my soda was not pleased!) In the same way, when children with ADHD become overwhelmed by perhaps too many instructions, too many transition changes, or being rejected by another child, they may “bubble over.” What can the teacher do? Can the teacher see the warning signs coming?
We certainly try to find these “trigger” behaviors, those that “seem” to happen before the child has a temper tantrum. It is difficult to know, sometimes, however. Something, perhaps an altercation with another child, may have occurred the day before or a couple of days before and the child with ADHD may be reacting now. Or, perhaps the child has become overstimulated with events or activities or changes in events and activities that typical children seem to manage quite well. Anyway, realistically, what can the teacher or parent do when the child with ADHD shows his temper?
Children with ADHD need structure and consistency in order to keep their life in order. In the same way, when their life is becoming or has become disorganized, they need consistency as well. That consistency should come in the form of a plan for them so they can learn to self-regulate their behavior. It is especially important for children who are older than elementary school age to learn to self-regulate their “out-of-control” behavior. How would it seem if a twelve-year-old child threw himself on the ground in the center of town and had a temper tantrum?
Before we discuss a specific method in order for a child to self-regulate his temper, it is important to point out that it is critical for the child with ADHD to understand that he must control his temper with adults. I am a firm believer in being honest and truthful to children with ADHD about exactly the difference between appropriate and inappropriate behavior. They must try to figure out what upset them so much as to cause them to have a temper tantrum in front of an adult.
Think of a soda bottle that has been filled up to the top and then shaken up. What happens when you try to open it, especially if you try to open it too quickly? I am only too familiar with this happening to me at the wrong time and in the wrong place. The soda bubbles overflow uncontrollably. (It happened to me in the former Shea Stadium. I am sure that you can imagine that the man in front of me who was sprayed with my soda was not pleased!) In the same way, when children with ADHD become overwhelmed by perhaps too many instructions, too many transition changes, or being rejected by another child, they may “bubble over.” What can the teacher do? Can the teacher see the warning signs coming?
We certainly try to find these “trigger” behaviors, those that “seem” to happen before the child has a temper tantrum. It is difficult to know, sometimes, however. Something, perhaps an altercation with another child, may have occurred the day before or a couple of days before and the child with ADHD may be reacting now. Or, perhaps the child has become overstimulated with events or activities or changes in events and activities that typical children seem to manage quite well. Anyway, realistically, what can the teacher or parent do when the child with ADHD shows his temper?
Children with ADHD need structure and consistency in order to keep their life in order. In the same way, when their life is becoming or has become disorganized, they need consistency as well. That consistency should come in the form of a plan for them so they can learn to self-regulate their behavior. It is especially important for children who are older than elementary school age to learn to self-regulate their “out-of-control” behavior. How would it seem if a twelve-year-old child threw himself on the ground in the center of town and had a temper tantrum?
Before we discuss a specific method in order for a child to self-regulate his temper, it is important to point out that it is critical for the child with ADHD to understand that he must control his temper with adults. I am a firm believer in being honest and truthful to children with ADHD about exactly the difference between appropriate and inappropriate behavior. They must try to figure out what upset them so much as to cause them to have a temper tantrum in front of an adult.
Monday, January 3, 2011
Does your Child Become Frustrated Easily? What can you Do?
I spoke to a parent today who has a child with ADHD. She told me that her child becomes frustrated very easily. (Does that sound familiar??) For example, when he went skiing recently, his ski came off and he sat down and cried. After a ski instructor came to see him whom he liked, he finally stopped crying. Also, I have another parent who told me that her child hits and shoves the person with whom he becomes frustrated.
I really would like this blog to be a forum for ideas, so that parents can learn from each other as well as from me. Therefore, before I tell you what methods I would use, please comment here on some methods that you have found to be successful in order to diminish some of the frustration that children with ADHD experience.
Thank you.
Dr. Rapoport
I really would like this blog to be a forum for ideas, so that parents can learn from each other as well as from me. Therefore, before I tell you what methods I would use, please comment here on some methods that you have found to be successful in order to diminish some of the frustration that children with ADHD experience.
Thank you.
Dr. Rapoport
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Teach your Child with ADHD to Pay more Attention to his Grandparents
Of all of the entries that I have written, this one could be the most important.
Your attitude regarding the value you place on the importance of family in your lives will be seen as a model for your children with ADHD. Oftentimes, we hear ourselves saying, “I have so much to do for work,” or “I have so much homework,” or “Oh, I will call later,” and do not call. We seem to live in a world where many people are so self-absorbed that they simply do not think of others as much as they could and/or should. Each of our roles in our lives is constantly changing.
For example, if you have aging parents you will soon see a role reversal in your lives. Your parents used to take care of you. All of a sudden, you are taking care of them. This new role may conflict with your role as a parent to your child with ADHD, which is a challenging role in itself, so let us see how we can avoid that clash.
As we multitask in 2011, it is vital to teach your child with ADHD that there is plenty of time in a day for you to pay attention to both your child and your parents. If it seems as if you do not have the time, between your work, your child’s homework, spending time with your spouse as well as enjoying some private time, find five minutes in your day when you and your child interact with your parents in some way. Remember that your child with ADHD will emulate how you interact with your parents.
This is imperative: In order to avoid a conflict between yourself and your child with ADHD, involve your child in supporting your parents. In that way, you will all be a team working together, instead of taking on all of the responsibilities associated with taking care of your parents alone.
By designing a schedule of the care-taking responsibilities that are associated with your parents, you will teach your child with ADHD the value of being organized, which these children need to learn as part of improving their executive function. What would be included in that schedule?
You could include visits, phone calls, etc. Without an organized schedule, we might think that we have called or visited our parents one day, but often have not done so. However, you do not have to visit your parents every day. Remember that much of the support that senior citizens need is emotional. In essence, they just need to know that someone is listening to them. You can call or fax or even have your child write and send an old-fashioned letter via snail mail. (post office)
Remember, a little attention goes a long way with your parents and your child’s grandparents. One important benefit for your child with ADHD paying more attention to his/her grandparents is that they will undoubtedly be very much appreciated by them, which will add to your child’s self-esteem. Everyone benefits from praise, but children with ADHD are even more in need of praise when they behave in an appropriate way, instead of constantly hearing criticism when they exhibit inappropriate behavior.
Your attitude regarding the value you place on the importance of family in your lives will be seen as a model for your children with ADHD. Oftentimes, we hear ourselves saying, “I have so much to do for work,” or “I have so much homework,” or “Oh, I will call later,” and do not call. We seem to live in a world where many people are so self-absorbed that they simply do not think of others as much as they could and/or should. Each of our roles in our lives is constantly changing.
For example, if you have aging parents you will soon see a role reversal in your lives. Your parents used to take care of you. All of a sudden, you are taking care of them. This new role may conflict with your role as a parent to your child with ADHD, which is a challenging role in itself, so let us see how we can avoid that clash.
As we multitask in 2011, it is vital to teach your child with ADHD that there is plenty of time in a day for you to pay attention to both your child and your parents. If it seems as if you do not have the time, between your work, your child’s homework, spending time with your spouse as well as enjoying some private time, find five minutes in your day when you and your child interact with your parents in some way. Remember that your child with ADHD will emulate how you interact with your parents.
This is imperative: In order to avoid a conflict between yourself and your child with ADHD, involve your child in supporting your parents. In that way, you will all be a team working together, instead of taking on all of the responsibilities associated with taking care of your parents alone.
By designing a schedule of the care-taking responsibilities that are associated with your parents, you will teach your child with ADHD the value of being organized, which these children need to learn as part of improving their executive function. What would be included in that schedule?
You could include visits, phone calls, etc. Without an organized schedule, we might think that we have called or visited our parents one day, but often have not done so. However, you do not have to visit your parents every day. Remember that much of the support that senior citizens need is emotional. In essence, they just need to know that someone is listening to them. You can call or fax or even have your child write and send an old-fashioned letter via snail mail. (post office)
Remember, a little attention goes a long way with your parents and your child’s grandparents. One important benefit for your child with ADHD paying more attention to his/her grandparents is that they will undoubtedly be very much appreciated by them, which will add to your child’s self-esteem. Everyone benefits from praise, but children with ADHD are even more in need of praise when they behave in an appropriate way, instead of constantly hearing criticism when they exhibit inappropriate behavior.
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