Is Popularity a Risk for Girls with ADHD?

I know that I usually discuss the fact that children with ADHD arguably have difficulty making friends. However, that is not always the case. In some instances, especially in terms of girls who have a diagnosis of ADHD-Predominantly Inattentive Type (ADHD-I), they do make friends. However, that being said, they may be drawn into the idea that if they are asked to join the “popular group,” that both the girls in that group as well as themselves are more worthy than the other girls who are not in that group.


Since children with ADHD often do not see the worldview, or how others are seeing them, they may not see and/or understand this very important issue. How do these girls’ parents feel about their daughter who has ADHD being involved with the “popular group?” They are typically happy, but may not be aware that in some cases, that their daughter may be used in terms of situations such as, doing homework for the other girls, typing the other girls’ reports on her computer, etc.


I do not blame the girls with ADHDs’ parents for being happy that their child with ADHD has friends. However, if the main reason that their daughters want to be in that group is to feel needed, important, better, smarter, and/or prettier than the other girls, that reasoning must be discussed, in the least.


Many girls experience this same problem. However, girls with ADHD typically have lower self-esteem and are more vulnerable than girls who do not have ADHD. Their low self-valuation is typically due to how they feel about themselves, especially regarding their difficulty focusing and paying attention in class, following instructions, and forgetting to hand in some of the assignments. Their low self-esteem is also related to oftentimes having a history of being rejected and rebuffed by their peers.


It is great that your child has made a group of friends. However, remember to keep the channels of communication open with your child, so you can see any danger signs as quickly as possible. Do not be judgmental. Instead, express the fact that since you love and care about your child so deeply, you just want to make sure that she is aware of any group dynamics that may not be healthy for her.

Today is Questions and Comments Day: Let Us Start a Conversation!

Hi Everyone:

In consideration of the fact that school starts soon, I am assuming that some anxiety is building up in you (parents), your children, as well as their teachers. 

I am at my computer today all day, so please feel free to either write me questions to my blog or to my email address in my profile. 

I look forward to answering any questions that you send to me. Let's start a conversation!!!

Dr. Rapoport

Emotional Stressors of Parenting a Child with ADHD

Take a look at this interesting question and answer, courtesy of CHADD:

http://www.chadd.org/AM/Template.cfm?Section=Attention_Magazine&CONTENTID=15292&DIRECTLISTCOMBOIND=D&NAVMENUID=3616&TEMPLATE=MembersOnly.cfm&s=20110802171552168

Some Characteristics of Children with ADHD

The following are some, among many characteristics of children with ADHD, as noted from an adapted Conners Rating Scale:


✱Restless in the “squirmy” sense

✱ Excitable, impulsive

✱ Fails to give close attention to details or makes careless mistakes in schoolwork, work, or other activities

✱ Is an emotional child

✱ Restless or overactive

✱ Does not appear to listen to what is being said to him

✱ Leaves seat in classroom or in other situations in which remaining seated is expected

✱ Inattentive, easily distracted

✱ Has difficulty waiting his turn

✱ Does not know how to make friends

✱ Fidgeting

✱ Disturbs other children

✱ Talks excessively

✱ Runs about in situations where it is inappropriate

✱ Has poor social skills

✱ Fidgets with hands or feet

✱ Demands must be met immediately—easily frustrated

✱ Blurts out answers to questions before the questions have been completed

✱ Interrupts or intrudes on others

✱ Easily distracted by extraneous stimuli

✱ Restless, always up and on the go

The Definition of ADHD

The following is the well-accepted, current definition of it according to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSMIV- TR):


The essential feature of Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder is a persistent pattern of inattention and/or hyperactivity impulsivity that is more frequently displayed and more severe than is typically observed in individuals at a comparable level of development (Criterion A). Some hyperactive-impulsive or inattentive symptoms that cause impairment must have been present before age 7 years, although many individuals are diagnosed after the symptoms have been present for a number of years, especially in the case of individuals with the Predominantly Inattentive Type (Criterion B) (APA, 2000, p. 85).





The DSM-IV-TR categorizes these children into four types:

✱ Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder, Combined Type

✱ Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder, Predominantly Inattentive Type

✱ Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder, Predominantly Hyperactive-Impulsive Type

✱ Attention-Deficit-Hyperactivity Disorder, Not Otherwise Specified (APA, 2000, p. 87).

Helping Children to Understand their ADHD

When parents take young children to the doctor to find out whether or not they have ADHD, please do not assume that they listen and really understand what the doctor is saying and describing. The doctor often talks to the parents and the child together, which seemingly is a good idea. However, the child is oftentimes unsure of what the doctor is saying, regarding terminology, symptoms, etc. 

The child may be asking himself the following:

Is he talking to me?

Is he talking about me?

What does ADHD mean anyway?

Does that mean that I am weird and strange?

It is imperative that parents become educated about ADHD, so that they can most importantly, understand this disorder themselves. Additionally, they will be able to explain all of the aspects of ADHD to their child and how these aspects affect him.

An 11 year-old child came to see me the other say for the first time. I knew that his mother had told him that he had ADHD, so therefore, I felt that he was somewhat familiar with the term. At first, he told me that he just could not talk about one subject, but instead, had to go from subject to subject, and asked me if I knew why he did so. 

What do you think that I should have told him? Return to my blog tomorrow, and I will tell you what I said to him. What are your thoughts?

Children Understanding their own ADHD

Most children receive the diagnosis of ADHD and no one explains to them the derivation, the presentation and/or whether or not ADHD is a lifelong disorder. Therefore, the children are told that they have this disorder, but walk away with little understanding of how it will impact their lives. Oftentimes, many parents do not have a precise understanding of ADHD either, and may struggle to explain it to their children, which adds to the confusion.

Many of the children with whom I work, say the following to me:

“I have trouble staying on one topic. Do you know why that happens to me? “

They also say, “I have difficulty staying focused while I am doing my homework and end up getting up from my chair and walking around.”

 Finally, they talk to me about, “Why do I interrupt? “I am unable to wait for the other person to stop talking, among other things.” 

In addition, children with ADHD often live with a sense of insecurity, because they do not view their behavior as inappropriate, as others do. They watch others staring at them and becoming quickly annoyed with them and their behavior. They simply do not comprehend why they received that negative reaction.

More uncertainty ensues when the children are placed on medication and seemingly do not understand why they have to take medication, as well as how it will make them feel. 

What should parents and teachers do first? Get on the same page and try to encourage an honest, yet encouraging conversation about ADHD, so that the child feels some sense of hope, instead of despair.

More tomorrow…This should be a very long discussion…tune in!…