My Comments on a Parent's Statement that Children with ADHD should not be permitted to Participate in some Activities: Are you Kidding??

I received a rather upsetting question/comment awhile back about which I would like to comment. Here is the comment by a parent of a child who does not have ADHD:

“What can I do as a parent of a non-ADD or ADHD affected child, from thinking how "annoying" the ADHD kids are? For example, one little boy (ADHD- I overheard his mom telling the instructor) really disrupted a summer sports lesson tonight. The other kids were upset, the other parents were upset. My child has already expressed she does not want to go back. Some activities should not allow these children there. His mom was really trying but it was not enough.”

I became very upset when I read the sentence “Some activities should not allow these children there.” Many thoughts came to mind, with the very first one being “What has gone wrong in our world for parents to want to exclude another child from activities just because his behavior may be a little annoying?” How would that parent have felt if THEIR child was not permitted to participate in an activity?  

 Sadly, people like the person who commented to me just did not get it. What did they not get? They did not understand that children with ADHD do not want to behave in the way that they arguably do. They would much rather behave in an acceptable way which would be conducive to making friends. 

The most often asked question I am asked by a child with ADHD is, “Why don’t I have friends?” These children have social skills deficits that prevent them from learning positive skills, which leads them to exhibit inappropriate behavior.

The good news is that positive social skills can be taught, if they are taught by someone who is responsive to the child with ADHD’s learning strengths and learning styles.

Parents are their children’s first teachers. How can a parent educate their child to accept those children who are different if they themselves do not want them around?

TO ALL PARENTS WHO ARE READING THIS BLOG ENTRY:

Please let us remember that our children model our thoughts, ideas, actions and behavior. If a parent is critical of another child’s behavior and expresses the fact that a certain child should not be permitted to remain in an activity, the child himself will take on his parents’ beliefs and ideas as his own, which will lead to that child rebuffing and rejecting children with ADHD. Is that the kind of exclusive rather than inclusive behavior that our children should be taught today?