How can we Help our Daughters with ADHD to Develop Positive Self-Esteem?

I have talked before about the role of self-regulation in terms of helping children/teenagers with ADHD to manage their own lives, so that they can build pride in what they have accomplished and eventually, feel positive self-esteem.

That being said, what are some additional ways that your daughters with ADHD can build upon their positive self-esteem?

As I tell the children with whom I work, each person has specific strengths and “intelligences,” as Howard Gardner has proposed in his theory of multiple intelligences. Due to the symptoms that girls with ADHD experience, they often find it difficult in terms of believing that they have any special talents.

So, what do these girls believe about themselves?

They arguably think about how differently they feel than girls who do not have ADHD. Additionally, and even more upsetting, these girls arguably believe that other girls perceive them as being different.

That being said, it is imperative for parents to talk candidly to their daughters about how they feel about having ADHD, in terms of understanding the impact that ADHD has on their ability to achieve academically, as well as the way that the symptoms of their ADHD affect them socially.

The most important point for girls with ADHD to realize and to believe is that even though they may not excel in math or science, for example, they each have areas in which they do excel. For example, one child may be gifted in music, while another child may be talented in art. Parents should talk to their daughters about how they can become better and better at their unique talents.

Why is it so important that girls with ADHD become aware of their specific strengths and work hard to improve upon those gifts? The talents and gifts that girls with ADHD possess can be used as a vehicle to making friends, especially in high school. If our daughters with ADHD have a niche as they approach high school, they will feel comfortable in knowing that they have a group in which to belong.

Oftentimes, making friends is very difficult for children with ADHD, and may be especially difficult for girls with ADHD. Why is this so? Even though they try very hard to fit in, their symptoms of distractibility and excessive verbiage may cause other girls to rebuff them. As we all know, some girls may exclude other girls whom they see as different, and girls with ADHD may arguably fall into that category.

However, if girls have certain talents or abilities, they may automatically gain acceptance into a group of girls who have similar skills. So, as the summer approaches, talk to your daughters candidly about their distinctive talents. Find a way that these girls can use the time off from the pressures of school to build upon their talents, which will enable them to find a group of friends much more easily when school begins again in the Fall, and as a result, increase their positive self-esteem.