DEVICES AND ACCESSORIES TO CALM YOUR PRESCHOOL CHILD WITH ADHD DOWN

 

Do you need devices to help to calm your child down? If your child is wiggly, you can try a Kore Design Wobble Chair. It is supposed to exercise muscles and relax children so that they are less hyperactive. Here are some more accessories that you can find on https://www. funandfunction.com/ or sometimes on https://www.amazon.com/.

• My Magical Cushion—This is a fidget seat that is supposed to reduce the wiggles.

 • Mushy Smushy Beanbag Chair—This chair is marketed to produce calming benefits.

 • Fishy Gel Cushion—This chair is supposed to permit the child to wiggle while he is doing something else.

• Mini Mushy Smushy—This chair is supposed to control the wiggles.

• Tactile Sensory Ball—This ball is supposed to make sitting more stimulating. Some other chairs and cushions that may help soothe your child’s energetic nature are the following.

• Hokki Stools—These stools are available on www.amazon.com and are marketed for children who are ages five to eight, so make sure that your child is at least five years old. While sitting still, this stool moves so that your preschool child with ADHD can use his energy as he sits and has a conversation or is involved in a quiet activity, such as coloring or drawing

• Disc ‘O’ Sit Jr. Cushions—These cushions are available on www.amazon.com. They help a preschool child with ADHD to achieve a balanced position when he is sitting.

• Howda Chairs—These are also available on www.amazon.com. These chairs are roll up, portable chairs. They can move back and forth and have adjustable straps in case you want your preschool child with ADHD to feel snug or loose.

• The many types of seating for active children found on the website www.moving-minds.com.

THE GUILT: IS MY PRESCHOOL CHILD WITH ADHD’S INATTENTION, IMPULSIVITY, AND SOCIALLY INAPPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR MY FAULT?

 

Here is where the guilt ensues. You may experience three sources of guilt. The first is related to your typical child. There is absolutely no time in the morning but to try to get everyone into the car to go to school. Sometimes, you forget something that your typical child needs for school and are left running there to bring him that object. You are left with such sad feelings because you forgot about his needs! By the time 9:00 a.m. arrives, you are definitely ready for a nap. However, in all probability, you have to get ready for work and travel there yourself! Additionally, you may be upset that you spend so much energy managing your preschool child with ADHD’s behavior, as compared to the time you spend with your typical child, but what can you do? Nothing!

 

The second is related to your concern that your preschool child’s ADHD is your fault. It is not fair to you. ADHD does run in families, but the reality of the cause of ADHD is unclear. It is not fair to blame yourself because there are so many possible causes for your child’s ADHD. As was stated previously, the reality of the cause of ADHD is not clear as of yet. “However, scientists have discovered a strong genetic link since ADHD can run in families. More than 20 genetic studies have shown evidence that ADHD is strongly inherited. Yet ADHD is a complex disorder, which is the result of multiple interacting genes” (https:// chadd.org/about-adhd/overview/#sthash.Dmdenc1v.dpuf). However, your preschool child’s ADHD may or may not have a genetic basis.

 

 The third is that you may be thinking that the cause of your preschool child’s ADHD may be related to your parenting skills or techniques. Whereas parenting skills do interact with your child’s behavior, they are not the cause of your preschool child’s ADHD. So, can you or should you blame yourself? No! First of all, blaming yourself for your child’s symptoms is not productive in terms of diminishing these symptoms. Second of all, condemning yourself for anything negative as related to your child is way too stressful.

 

In consideration of the fact that ADHD does run in families and you think that you have ADHD as well or have experienced the symptoms of ADHD in your lifetime, you are in a good position to help your preschool child with ADHD with his symptoms. If you did exhibit behavior similar to your child’s conduct, retrace your behavior as a child and think about how you behaved and how your parents managed your conduct. Additionally, ask your parents and other family members how you behaved as a child so that you will know if they intervened in any way and how they tried to help you diminish your socially inappropriate behavior.

 

Similarly, if you were distractible as a child, ask your parents how they helped you to try to become more attentive, if they did so. Did they try to help you at home based on their own ideas, or did they interact with your teachers and work together with them? What did they do to effectively help you? Did they feel that they successfully assisted you?

 

Were you impulsive as a child, either physically or verbally? Are you impetuous now? If so, how do you manage your own impulsivity? If your child is rash, think about your own impulsivity. Did your parents intervene in any way to manage your impulsivity? What did they do? Were they successful? The more information that you gather, the easier it will be for you to try to manage your preschool child with ADHD’s behavior.

WHAT STRESS SHOULD I ANTICIPATE IN TRYING TO MANAGE THE BEHAVIOR OF MY PRESCHOOL CHILD WITH ADHD?

 

The amount of stress that you experience depends to a large extent on what kinds of events cause you to become anxious. Some people become frazzled in their work environment and not in their home environment. For others, the opposite is true. How each person deals with the impact of stress is also individual. Perhaps stress and how each person responds to it may be related to whether or not these individuals have other successes in their lives. Perhaps it is related to whether or not they have friends. Perhaps it is related to whether or not they have a successful relationship with a significant other. Perhaps a person’s stress is related to something out of their control and of which they are not aware.

 

So, it appears that stress and how it affects each person is related to an intersection of many variables in their lives. It is also important how long that a person permits stress to affect them. Do you have stress at work and let it affect your interaction with your child? If your child spills a cup of juice on your wood floor, do you start yelling at him instead of realizing that these types of things happen and have him help you to clean it up? As has been stated previously, none of us are perfect. Therefore, if you have had a stressful day at work, on that day, it just may happen that you reprimand your child more harshly than he deserves.

 

Just remember, however, that preschool children with ADHD react differently than children who do not have ADHD. Their self-esteem may not be formed yet and in fact may be negatively impacted by their ADHD, so they may become more upset than a typical child. These children certainly do not mean to behave in an inappropriate way. Therefore, they are not exhibiting socially inappropriate behavior on purpose!

 

As I have stated previously, these children are somehow reprimanded and yelled at all too frequently, so if you have done so, just try not to let it happen all of the time. If it does happen, explain to your child that you have had a rough day at work and that you did not mean to yell at him for whatever he did.

 

A child’s socially inappropriate behavior may result in harsh parental reactions which may, in turn, increase the preschool child with ADHD’s socially inappropriate behaviors even more. It is possible that if you intercede by talking to your child about the negative behavior that you feel he should not have exhibited, you may have interrupted the child’s socially inappropriate behavior just enough to stop it for that moment.

 

 Back to stress. . . . The reality of raising a preschool child with ADHD is that you will be dealing with stress as related to the behaviors that your child exhibits, the reactions of people who witness your child’s behavior, the attitudes of teachers toward your child, and the responses of your family to seeing behavior that is in all likelihood dissimilar to their own child’s behavior. Additionally, and even more important is that trying to manage your child with ADHD’s behavior every minute of every day, as a preschool child said, is “super” stressful.

 

 It is imperative that you work on trying to control your own stress, (and clearly that is not easy), so that your child does not pick up negative signs from your behavior. You almost have to develop a turtle shell so that you are not constantly upset. Acting as if other people’s negative responses to your child’s behavior does not affect you is very difficult, but it is essential to try to do so.

 

The situation that is one of the most difficult is that every simple request that you ask your child to do may result in him behaving in a socially inappropriate way. That is arguably the most stressful part. The only way to diminish your stress (because you will in all likelihood not erase it) is to think intentionally and ahead of time about all of the possible socially inappropriate behaviors that your child might exhibit. In that way, when and if these socially inappropriate behaviors occur, you will have a plan of action as well as a barometer of your own stress.

 

Make a list of the socially inappropriate behaviors that you have observed over a five-day period of time. Next to each behavior, write a possible response for yourself. The use of the word “response” here instead of the word “react” should indicate to you that your behavior must be well thought out and planned. In the introduction to this book, you will find a discussion of this predetermined way of thinking. A reaction is a quick and uncontrolled behavior. A response is well thought out and strategic. The discussion of this thought process is stated again here to emphasize how important your behavior is to your child’s behavior. If you are organized and intentional in your mind ahead of time, you will respond (and not react) to your preschool child with ADHD’s behavior in the best way possible, while experiencing as little stress as possible.

Do I Manage All of the Socially Inappropriate Behaviors that my Preschool Child with ADHD Exhibits?

 

There are some behaviors that you will find more success at diminishing if you selectively ignore them instead of managing them. The main idea here is that children will often continue behaving in a certain way if they receive any attention of any kind, positive or negative. Therefore, if parents want to diminish certain specific behaviors, they should purposely and selectively ignore these behaviors.

 

 An important concern here is your own stress. If you can successfully ignore your preschool child with ADHD’s socially inappropriate behaviors, your own stress levels will decrease. If you are able to do so, you will have successfully eliminated some of the behaviors that your child exhibits that annoy you, as well the ones that give you the most stress.

 

There are two caveats here, however. The first caveat is that the use of selective ignoring must be consistent and correct. What does this mean? It is imperative that any adult who is observing her child’s socially inappropriate behavior must not comment on that behavior. This means that neither parent should engage the child in discussing the socially inappropriate behavior that he is exhibiting. In fact, if either parent talks to the child about the socially inappropriate behavior that he has just exhibited, that behavior will most likely increase once again.

 

 However, if the selective ignoring of socially inappropriate behavior is to work most effectively, it is vital that positive behaviors are recognized and praised. For example, if the child is continuously getting out of his chair at a meal, when he does sit as is required, the parents need to immediately say, “I love the way you are sitting and staying in your seat.” The previous phrase or similar comments may not seem natural for you to say, but they will really work to diminish your child’s socially inappropriate behavior.

 

The second caveat is that, in order for selective ignoring to be effective, there is some likelihood that the child’s negative behavior will increase to a larger degree before it ceases immediately. Therefore, if you pay attention to the child’s socially inappropriate behavior as it increases temporarily, your reaction will cause the child’s behavior to remain and possibly even grow in intensity.

 

 I cannot say that the child knows or even understands that when his parent attends to his socially inappropriate behavior that his behavior will escalate. However, it just happens that when parents reinforce a negative behavior, there will be an increase in the number of times that the child exhibits that behavior, as well as an increase in the intensity of that behavior.

 

 Ignoring socially inappropriate behavior is challenging for parents, however. Parents must learn to respond instead of to react. The reactive response would be to say to the child who is bouncing up and down in his chair at a meal, “Stop that now. Do not do that or you will have to go to time out.” Instead, responding is a much more effective tool than reacting, because it is behavior on the parent’s part that is intentional instead of unpredictable. The responsive behavior would be to say, “I really like the way you are using your napkin to wipe your face when it gets dirty” while ignoring the inappropriate behavior of bouncing up and down in his chair.

 

What are some examples of behaviors that are not very serious (yet parents may find extremely annoying!) but nevertheless need to diminish, so that the preschool child with ADHD can interact successfully?

• bouncing up and down in his chair at a meal

 •continuously using repetitive language

 •banging his silverware on the table at meals (unless the table is glass and may break or become damaged)

• whining

 • interrupting

 • name calling

 • making strange noises

 • getting in and out of his chair

 • screaming

 • excessive talking

 • running continuously in the house and sliding on the floor

 • throwing his toys on the floor and laughing

 • whining in the grocery store

 • pushing his sibling (unless there is a wall or a hard surface into which he can push his sibling’s head)

 

 I observed one preschool child kicking the dinner table underneath him. His mother absolutely could not stand his behavior. She yelled at him several times to stop and he just kept on doing it and doing it. Finally, she screamed at him to stop at the top of her voice and he stopped . . . for just a few moments, and then he began to kick the table again! You should have an intentional and prescribed set of responses that you are ready to access at all times. It is vital for you to behave in a predictable and a responsive way, rather than behaving in a reactive way. If you react to your child’s behavior, then you will be as out of control as your child!

How can Parents of a Child with ADHD Help him to Stay Focused on his Remote Learning?

 

Currently, most parents are involved in assisting and/or supporting the remote learning of their elementary age or preschool child with ADHD. We may think that these children would hyperfocus and latch on to their remote learning subject, therefore not getting up from their seat. This hyperfocus may or may not happen and may or may not last. Your child may become distracted by absolutely anything, their sibling, the family pet, or just the task itself.

Some type of reinforcement is in order here, so think of something small that is in your preschool child with ADHD’s interest area. If you decide to use stickers, for example, do not just give him a sticker that he puts on his body or on the table. Buy him a blank sticker book so that your preschool child with ADHD can see the stickers accumulate that he received when he behaved in a socially appropriate way. Remember, in addition to these short-term goals, you always want to keep in mind the longest-term goal of all, which is positive self-esteem.

What would you do if your preschool child with ADHD does not really care about stickers? Find out what he really cares about, whether it is playing on an iPad for five minutes, watching a few minutes extra of his favorite show, drawing with a new marker, eating a snack after dinner such as fruit snacks, drawing outside with sidewalk chalk, blowing bubbles, or counting all of the change that you have collected in a cup in your room! In fact, you can give him one fruit snack (to be eaten after dinner), for each minute he remains in his seat at a meal!

The only thing that matters here in terms of the value of the reinforcement is whether or not he has a real interest in that reinforcer or reward. Oh, and you may have to change the reward frequently so that it does not lose its value. You may also have to frequently change the schedule of the reinforcement. For example, you may begin this intervention by giving your preschool child with ADHD a sticker each time he stays in his seat for two minutes. Then, you can give him a sticker for every other time he stays in his seat for three minutes. When you switch to four minutes and then five minutes, follow the same plan.

What Do You Think Might Affect your Preschool Child with ADHD’s Behavior?

 

Do you think that your home routine affects your child’s behavior? Each and every person runs their home in a different way according to their own personality. Some people are very laid back and relaxed, so therefore, their child’s behavior has to be very obstructive to bother them. Other people are much more affected by even a small evidence of their child exhibiting socially inappropriate behavior and feel compelled to act upon it immediately. However you respond, your house should run based upon a specific routine that will hopefully result in more agreeable and appropriate behavior on the part of your child. Preschool children with ADHD crave order and a reliable routine so that they will know what is expected of them at all times. After an organized plan is executed, they will need some time to adjust to it, but in the long run, they will behave more appropriately in response to that predictable structure. This is true especially in consideration of the fact that the most typical characteristic of preschool children with ADHD is hyperactivity, which is anything but predictable. 

Preschool children with ADHD who are hyperactive need some stimulation to lock them into behaving in an appropriate way or to hyperfocus. Perhaps, depending on the child, receiving rewards or praise may stimulate a child so that he will behave in a more socially appropriate manner. That stimulation may come in many forms. I know that you may not think that my paradoxical logic makes sense. However, children who are hyperactive need stimulation to become calmer. 

I would, however, use selective praise so that the effect of the reward or praise does not lose its effect too quickly. Be careful about exactly which behavior you praise. Do not praise every behavior that your child exhibits that is positive. Try to praise effort as well. Preschool children with ADHD exhibit many annoying behaviors (as many parents have told me). What should you do when it comes to managing all of your preschool child with ADHD’s aggravating behavior? Tune in later…