Save yourself some stress by not
expecting your preschool child with ADHD to sit still during a meal. In fact,
one of the most aggravating behaviors that occurs with preschool children with
ADHD is their reluctance to stay in their seats at meals. Why does this
behavior occur? Well,
some reasons might be that they
are not hungry or that they see something else that interests them. Additionally,
they may be copying their sibling. The reason that they are not staying in
their seat at meals does matter, however.
The point is that it is very hard
to have an enjoyable family meal with a preschool child with ADHD jumping in
and out of his seat. All you find yourself doing is reprimanding your child,
which ends up stirring up more negativity between the two of you. Your end goal
is for your child to stay in his seat at meals. Before you begin to implement
any intervention, design an ABC chart. (I will copy the chart for you send it
to you via this social media.) Your data from the chart will show you what
happened before your child behaved in a certain way, what was the behavior that
he exhibited, and what happened to maintain the behavior such as a
reinforcement, a reprimand, or praise. Also included, is the date that the behavior
started and ended. This data is invaluable in trying to get your child to stay
in his seat at meals. Hopefully, you will gain an answer as to how to get him
to stay in his seat at meals successively and over time.
Additionally, try using a bit of self-talk.
Say to yourself, for example, “I am not going to get annoyed. I will not show
him that he is driving me crazy! I will remain calm and figure out a way to
maintain my composure and keep my sense of humor.” Of course, as I have said
before, the real trick to not allowing yourself to become annoyed and
aggravated, and showing your child that you are disgusted and upset is to think
ahead of time about what you will say. Fewer mistakes are made when you decide
ahead of time exactly what to say to your child. Try to turn each and every
negative situation into a positive one. I clearly realize that whether you have
been working all day or staying at home with your child, you have a right to
sit down to a calm and
relaxing dinner. That being said,
find something that your child is doing that is positive and praise that
behavior. It could even be, “I like the way you are spearing your pasta with
your fork. You are being so neat when you handle your pasta in that way.”
Praise goes a long way when it is used with preschool children with ADHD. Additionally,
try to get your child to move before he sits down for a meal. Put on music, so
that he will naturally move and/or dance. The
more movement that he does before
meals, the longer that he will be able to sit in his seat at meals.
I have found a really great book
that is literally titled, It’s Time to Sit Still in your Own Chair by Lawrence
E. Shapiro. The author suggests an intervention that just might work
with preschool children with ADHD, so I would suggest that you obtain
that book and see what the author suggests to do. In fact, this book
along with other similar books written by the same author is available
on Amazon.
Okay, so what should you do now
to try to help your preschool child with ADHD to sit in his chair for a meal?
Instead of looking for a long-term yield of having him stay in his seat for
thirty minutes at a time, set up a regimen where the goal of how long he sits
at the table is shorter, for
example, two minutes This time,
use a kitchen timer instead of the Time Timer. Even though your preschool child
with ADHD can undoubtedly not tell time, he will be able to at least see the
two-minute mark on the timer.
If you really want to be
creative, buy an Amazon Echo and set a timer on it. Your preschool child with
ADHD will think it is fun, which will make your entire experience a more
positive event. You can set the Amazon Echo’s timer for any increment of time.
You can set the timer by
using your voice. You can also
ask how much time is left on the timer and cancel the timer. For example, you
can say, “Alexa, set the timer for three minutes.” In fact, if you are
wondering how much time is left, you can ask Alexa. When the time is up, an
alarm will sound.
Some type of reinforcement is in
order here, so think of something small that is in your preschool child with
ADHD’s interest area. If you decide to use stickers, for example, do not just
give him a sticker that he puts on his body or on the table. Buy him a blank
sticker book so that your preschool child with ADHD can see the stickers
accumulate that he received when he behaved in a socially appropriate way.
Remember, in addition to these short-term goals, you always want to keep in
mind the longest-term goal of all, which is, as I have said previously,
positive self-esteem.
What would you do if your
preschool child with ADHD does not really care about stickers? Find out what he
really cares about, whether it is playing on an iPad for five minutes, watching
a few minutes extra of his favorite show, drawing with a new marker, eating a
snack after dinner such as fruit snacks, drawing outside with sidewalk chalk, blowing
bubbles, or counting all of the change that you have collected in a cup in your
room! In fact, you can give him one fruit snack (to be eaten after dinner), for
each minute he remains in his seat at a meal! The only thing that
matters here in terms of the
value of the reinforcement is whether or not he has a real interest in that
reinforcer or reward. Oh, and you may have to change the reward frequently so
that it does not lose its value.
You may also have to frequently
change the schedule of the reinforcement. For example, you may begin this
intervention by giving your preschool child with ADHD a sticker each time he
stays in his seat for two minutes. Then, you can give him a sticker for every
other time he stays in his seat for three minutes. When you switch to four
minutes and then five minutes, follow the same plan.
I am repeating this information
for emphasis: you may have to change the reward as well as the reinforcement
schedule. You will carry out this intervention in an easier way if you design a
chart similar to the ABC chart that I have included here in appendix B, that
includes the start and
the end time of the task; the
antecedent, or what happens before the preschool child with ADHD exhibits the
behavior; the behavior; and the consequence, or what happens that maintains the
behavior. Then you can complete each element of the intervention and see if he
is improving in
the amount of time that he is
sitting in his chair at meals. You can use the chart for two meals per day. In
that way, you will be able to look at your data and try to determine if your
preschool child with ADHD sits longer at one meal than another. Additionally,
you will have data-driven proof, so that you can try to ascertain as to why he
sits longer at one meal than another. Also, collect information such as the
following: Are his siblings at one meal and not another? Do you and your spouse
actually eat at one meal and not another? Does your preschool child with ADHD
eat with his siblings? Does your preschool child with ADHD eat by himself? Are
you on the phone when he is eating during one meal and not another? Are you rushing
out with your preschool child with ADHD in the morning meal to get him to
school and are more relaxed at dinner?
If your preschool child with ADHD
attends school, ask his teacher if he stays in his seat at the meals that he
eats there. How long does he stay in his seat while eating at school? Ask his
teacher to write down the length of time that your preschool child with ADHD
sits in his seat at
school when he eats. In that way,
you can compare the time period that he sits at his seat at a meal at school to
the time period that he sits in his seat for a meal at home. If you can answer
these questions, then you can try to figure out which variables might possibly
influence how long your preschool child with ADHD sits at a table at meals.
