If
you have a toddler or a preschool child, you know about the difficulty of
managing his/her behavior. What behaviors have you observed? Preschool children
can be stubborn and rigid at some point and funny and flexible the next moment.
They can also be unfocused one moment and not responding when you give them an
instruction and the next moment, be hyperfocused on building a tower.
When
we add ADHD to the picture of a toddler, or to a preschool child at risk of
ADHD, things spiral out of control exponentially. Do you find yourself bribing
your child one minute and yelling the next moment? Sometimes, arguably, do you
have difficulty managing your own emotions and behavior?
Here
are a few suggestions to be found in my upcoming book on preschool children
with ADHD:
1.
Keep
your home routine structured and organized so that your preschool child with
ADHD or at risk for ADHD knows what to expect at all times. He/she may not know
how to tell time, but they certainly know that after they play outside they
wash their hands and have dinner. They certainly know that when you are
cleaning up the dishes they go to their reading corner to look at books. Now if
you have two toddlers, that is indeed another issue but no matter how many
children you have a structured routine always works best.
2.
Another
suggestion is to give preschool children with ADHD or preschool children at
risk for ADHD single, simple instructions. Preschool children with ADHD or at
risk for ADHD can be easily overwhelmed by several instructions. The
instructions such as go wash your hands, brush your teeth and get a book for me
to read to you somehow get lost along the way. Always give one single, simple
instruction at a time. Go to wash your hands. When you see that they have
accomplished that task, praise and give the next instruction. Okay now brush
your teeth. Praise and then give the last instruction. Good job. Now find a
book that you would like me to read to you. Trust me, they will feel much more
successful at listening to your instructions and you will feel much les
frustrated because you do not have to tell them what to do more than once.
3.
One
of the most important things that you can do is the phrase catch them being
good. I certainly did not make up that phrase, but I find myself trying to do
so each and every time that I am with
a preschool child with ADHD or at
risk of ADHD. When you see these children exhibiting a positive behavior,
praise them for behaving in that way. They will develop pride and positive
self-esteem in the fact that they pleased you and exhibited the appropriate behavior.
4.
Along
the same philosophy but expanding it a bit, try to ignore the child’s negative
behaviors and positively reinforce the child’s positive behavior. When we pay
attention to the negative behaviors we oftentimes find those behaviors
increasing. Please do not think that ignoring the negative behaviors is an easy
thing to do. It is a difficult thing to do. However, somehow you want to get
your child to ascertain that specific behaviors please you and are appropriate.
If you continue to accentuate your child’s positive behaviors amidst all of his/her
negative behaviors, your child will learn to exhibit appropriate behavior.
5.
Make
sure that your child goes to bed early enough to get the proper amount of
sleep. Fatigue only increases meltdowns. Seemingly, it may be an easy problem
to avoid.
6.
Model
positive behavior. Many parents do not know that their child observes and
imitates their behavior as well as picks up on their emotional state. If
something happens and a parent becomes frustrated or angry, the child may often
model that behavior. Leaning to control your own behavior is also not easy to
do but absolutely necessary when you are around your toddler with ADHD. Have
you noticed that when you get angry your preschool child arguably becomes
angry? Have you noticed that when you
yell your toddler arguably yells?
Try very hard to be aware of the times in the day when you
become anxious and pressured and monitor your behavior. What could you do if
you find yourself unable to modulate your behavior? If there is someone else in
your house with you, walk out of the room. If you are with your children alone,
find some music that you like on your phone or on your computer and play it
until you calm down. Deep breathing works as well.
So much more to come!!!Be on the lookout!
