Does your Child with ADHD Feel Anxiety about the Coronavirus?

Many adults feel anxious about the Coronavirus and its ramifications for their families. Many children with ADHD feel anxious as well and need to understand their feelings as well as having them validated. As parents who also may have similar anxiety right now, how can you help your children? There is a subtle balance between helping your child with ADHD to express his feelings and subsequent anxiety and causing him to shut down and not talk about how he feels.

So, what should you do? Try to immediately have a conversation with your preschool child with ADHD about that change. If your child does not want to talk, however, do not try to force him to talk about the change that has occurred. Instead, see if he will draw some pictures to represent how he feels, or tell you what to draw that will represent how he is feeling. If he will not draw, just wait it out in the hope that he will be ready to talk very soon. 

Here are some possible questions to ask your child with ADHD to encourage him to talk about his feelings about the virus:

What does he think about the fact that the virus has occurred?

Has he spoken to anyone about the virus? If he did so about what did they talk? 

What changes has he noticed in his own behavior? 

What changes has he noticed in his siblings’ behavior?

What changes has he noticed in his parents’ behavior?

As you are reading my list of questions, please realize that the answers to these questions will be dependent upon the level of maturity and/or developmental level of each and every child with ADHD. One child may be able to answer only one question while another child might be able to answer all of these questions. Just have patience while you are waiting for the answers to these questions because preschool children with ADHD for example will need approximately eight to ten seconds to form their thoughts and respond to each question.

 In addition to conversing about your child’s anxieties, it is possible that by employing resources such as reading books about similar life changes to your child with ADHD, he might be able to answer these questions more easily. It also would be a good idea to read your child a good book for children about anxiety such as A Little SPOT of Anxiety: A Story About Calming Your Worries by Diane Alber. This book explains anxiety in a simple way and offers methods to allay the child’s anxiety.

Do you Feel Guilty in Terms of your Child having a Diagnosis of ADHD?

You may experience three sources of guilt. The first is related to your typical child. There is absolutely no time in the morning but to try to get everyone into the car to go to school. Sometimes, you forget something that your typical child needs for school and are left running there to bring him that object. You are left with such sad feelings because you forgot about his needs! By the time 9:00 a.m. arrives, you are definitely ready for a nap. However, in all probability, you have to get ready for work and travel there yourself! Additionally, you may be upset that you spend so much energy managing your preschool child with ADHD’s behavior, as compared to the time you spend with your typical child, but what can you do? Nothing! 



The second is related to your concern that your preschool child’s ADHD is your fault. It is not fair to you. ADHD does run in families, but the reality of the cause of ADHD is unclear. It is not fair to blame yourself because there are so many possible causes for your child’s ADHD. As was stated previously, the reality of the cause of ADHD is not clear as of yet. “However, scientists have discovered a  strong genetic link since ADHD can run in families. More than 20 genetic studies have shown evidence that ADHD is strongly inherited. Yet ADHD is a complex disorder, which is the result of multiple interacting genes” (https:// chadd.org/about adhd/overview/#sthash.Dmdenc1v.dpuf). However, your preschool child’s ADHD may or may not have a genetic basis. 



The third is that you may be thinking that the cause of your preschool child’s ADHD may be related to your parenting skills or techniques. Whereas parenting skills do interact with your child’s behavior, they are not the cause of your preschool child’s ADHD. So, can you or should you blame yourself? No! First of all, blaming yourself for your child’s symptoms is not productive in terms of diminishing these symptoms. Second of all, condemning yourself for anything negative as related to your child is way too stressful.

Are you Feeling Stress Homeschooling your Child who has ADHD?

Life during this pandemic has certainly changed what we do as parents in our day to day lives. Previously, we got up every day and spent a substantial amount of time getting ourselves dressed and getting our children dressed, fed, and ready for school. Now, in addition to doing all the things in the morning that you typically do, you are also expected to teach your child academics. How difficult is it to teach your child? It is extremely challenging. Why? Your child with ADHD undoubtedly has trouble concentrating and focusing in his classroom, nonetheless, is being taught by you in your home. What happens?

You begin to homeschool your child and then “poof!” his behavior escalates into hyperactive and/or inattentive behavior so that each and every minute seems to last for an hour. You certainly try to teach him, but that mountain of unfocused behavior interferes with your effort. Then your stress begins. You become stressed, frustrated, upset, and ready to give up. You begin to reprimand your child for behavior that he cannot control. Then, you feel guilty about yelling at him.

Please do not blame yourself endlessly and please do not stress yourselves out trying to do something that you are trying that is so hard to do. Even if you are a teacher, working with your child with ADHD is very challenging. You can only try your best. When you experience stress, it is counterproductive to your being able to successfully teach your child and probably gives you headaches, stomach aches, or worse. Additionally, if you get up each morning dreading to teach your child because it stresses you out, you will needlessly suffer and arguably, your child will not learn to his full capacity.

The only way to get through this difficult time of teaching the same academics to your child that is required according to your school district is NOT to have unrealistic expectations for yourself. Even people who are teachers themselves have a hard time teaching their child with ADHD.  The advantage that you have in consideration of the fact that you are teaching your child with ADHD is that you are in your home with devices that you can use to help your child to focus. So that being said, before you teach your child, have him do the following:

1.     Some form of exercise

2.     Take four deep breaths

3.     Put on some music that he likes and have him dance to the music

4.     Include him in making breakfast

The most important issue, however, is please do not expect yourself to be perfect. Any effort that you are doing is extraordinary. Please just keep your sense of humor and you and your child will remain calm and succeed in both of you learning!

The Corona Virus: Help for Parents who have Children with ADHD

All of us are unfortunately in the same situation of living in close quarters for a long period of time due to the spread of the Corona Virus. It is almost untenable for adults, nonetheless for children who have ADHD. Why can’t I see my grandparents? Why can’t I see my friends? Why can’t I go to school? Why do I have to stand far away from another person? My heart goes out to you, these children’s parents because you are dealing with children who are vulnerable and may have a comorbid anxiety in addition to their ADHD. You are also dealing with your own anxiety about how to remain virus free.

You have a new responsibility for which you may not be trained; you are now homeschooling your children. Please be aware that during the homeschooling process which may not be easy, how you respond to your child’s behavior is paramount. You are also accountable and responsible in terms of making sure that your child completes all of his assignments and hands them in to the teacher on time.

What can you do to manage your child’s behavior in this uncertain time when none of us especially our children with ADHD understand what is happening in our society right now?

Here a few hints that I hope will help you.

You must always respond intentionally to any possible changes that have occurred as a result of the spread of the Corona Virus. In that way, you are able to reply to the ramifications of the virus in a calm and thoughtful way, instead of immediately reacting, which may result in undesirable and negative behavior by you. Your responses to this change in your life will serve as a barometer for your preschool child with ADHD’s responses to the changes in his own life.

The following are some questions that you might ask yourself about this terrible occurrence of Corona Virus:

The most important thing that you can do when a drastic change occurs in your family’s life such as the onslaught of this horrible virus is to try to immediately have a conversation with your child with ADHD about the virus.  I am going to list some possible questions here. However, here is a caveat: If your child does not want to talk, do not try to force him to talk about the virus. Instead, see if he will draw some pictures to represent how he feels, or if he will tell you what to draw that will represent how he is feeling. If he will not draw, just wait it out in the hope he will be ready to talk very soon.

     Does he realize that the virus has occurred?

     What does he think about the changes that have occurred in his life due to the spread of the virus?

     What are his feelings related to the spread of the virus and the changes in his life?

     Has he spoken to anyone about the virus?

     If he did so, about what did they talk?

     What changes has he noticed in his own behavior since he has been sheltered in his house?

     What changes has he noticed in his sibling’s behavior since they have sheltered in their house?

     What changes has he noticed in his parent’s behavior since they have been sheltered in their house?

As you are reading my list of questions, please realize that the answers to these questions will be dependent upon the level of maturity and/or developmental level of each and every child with ADHD. One child may be able to answer only one question while another child might be able to answer all of these questions. Just have patience while you are waiting for the answers to these questions because children with ADHD will need approximately eight to ten seconds to form their thoughts and respond to each question.

Please feel free to write me here or email me at estamrapoport@gmail.com or on Twitter at @adhdanswers and I will help you as much as I can.