Questions about your Child with ADHD?

School just began, so I am sure that you have questions about your child with ADHD and his/her social skills and/or executive function problems.

Please send your questions and I will answer them as soon as I can.

Why do Children with ADHD Exhibit Socially Inappropriate Behavior?

Children with ADHD who have social skills deficits may behave in a very annoying manner to both their peers and adults. Parents and teachers know very well of these children’s behavior and how others respond to it.

These children may talk excessively without realizing that they are doing so or they may talk so infrequently that people do not even know they are in the room.  Their parents seemingly do not like them; their teachers seemingly do not like them; and other children do not like them. I felt so sad hearing a mother describing her child in such negative terms. I guess she was being realistic, but even so.

As far as social skills go, I do think that kids with ADHD have significant issues with this. Sometimes it seems to be a matter of the fact that they do not notice their own behavior as being unusual or inappropriate in any way. Thus, they make no effort to control it. But, even when pointed out, they often seem unable to control odd or inappropriate behavior.

Okay, so let’s get to the bottom of these children’s social skills difficulties. Children with ADHD of all types may have social skills problems, even though their behavior may be varied.

Why? They have social skills deficits. These deficits typically have been described as either “can’t do”1 or “won’t do” (Gresham et al., 2001, p. 33). They either do not know how to behave in a socially appropriate manner or they know how to behave in a socially appropriate manner, but do not do so. Children with ADHD have social skills deficits that prevent them from developing positive social skills. These children typically do not pick up and internalize positive social skills.

  

Children with ADHD do not learn positive social skills that are modeled by their parents at home in the same way as children without ADHD do due to the following

• Lack of knowledge
• Lack of practice of feedback
• Lack of cues or opportunities 
• Lack of reinforcement
• Presence of interfering problem behaviors. (pp. 28–29).

To be continued….

Should Educators and Parents Teach their Children with ADHD in accordance with their Developmental Levels or their Chronological Ages?

In 2007, researchers at the National Institute of Health[1] found that “Cortical development in children with ADHD lagged behind that of typically developing children by several years” (Shaw et al., 2007, p. 19650).

 

“The prefrontal cortex supports a host of cognitive functions, such as the ability to suppress inappropriate responses and thoughts, the executive ‘‘control’’ of attention, evaluation of reward contingencies, higher-order motor control, and working memory” (Shaw et al., 2007, p. 19651).

 

How do the results of this definitive research affect how educators and parents teach their children with ADHD and manage their behavior? Should we teach these children according to their current developmental levels or according to their chronological ages?

 

I presented to a wonderful group of teachers at the Goddard School in Yorktown Heights, New York last Friday, and their questions echoed the concerns of other teaching professionals with whom I have spoken concerning the results of this research. As I told them, especially in preschool, in my opinion, educators should try to teach young children with ADHD according to their developmental levels. Why? If you try to teach these children according to the milestones that are attributed to their chronological ages, they will have gaps in their knowledge which will be very difficult to overcome.

 

The best strategy is to work within each child’s learning strengths and preferred learning style, according to the developmental level that they have reached. Little by little, teach them to a point where they are challenged but not frustrated. In that way, you will help these children feel that they are reaching new strides in their learning at a pace in which they can succeed.

 

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[1] (Shaw, P., Eckstrand, K., Sharp, W., Blumenthal, J., Lerch, J. P., Greenstein, D., Clasen, L., and Evans, A. (2007). Attention-deficit/ hyperactivity disorder is characterized by cortical maturation. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences of the United States of America, 104, 19649–19654. Retrieved from http://www.nimh.nih.gov/science-news/2007/)

 

 

Challenging Classroom Situations for Young Children with ADHD

One of the most challenging situations for both young children with ADHD as well as their teachers are transitions. These transitions may include going from one activity to another; going from one station to another; going from the classroom to recess; going from the classroom to lunch; or leaving school to board the bus at the end of the day. Why are transitions so difficult for young children with ADHD?

Young children with ADHD become highly focused on the activity in which they are involved. Therefore, they do not pay attention to the directions that their teacher tells them to follow in order to make a smooth transition to the next activity. They are driven by the moment in which they are involved in one activity, so when it is time to transition to a new activity, they find it very challenging to leave the one in which they were occupied.

Additionally, these children often become overly excitable when they are required to move, which may result in them rushing to the next activity that they find more interesting.

Why do young children with ADHD behave in this way? They have developmental delays in their ability to inhibit inappropriate behavior, in some cases of up to three years. In other words, the behavior of a six year old may be more representative of the behavior of a three year old.

This developmental delay offers a dilemma to teachers of young children with ADHD, which we will discuss in the next blog. They do not stop to evaluate their actions. Additionally, they do not remember the reminders that the teacher gives them to put their things away, such as their toys, before going to the next activity.

What can teachers do to help young children with ADHD to transition more smoothly? It is imperative for the teacher to be very clear about the class rules as related to transitioning. In fact, if the teacher collaborates with her students to agree upon the rules for transitioning, the children will feel ownership and will most likely transition more successfully. However, it is very important that the teacher is very specific concerning exactly what she wants the children to do during transitioning, rather than what she does NOT want them to do. It is easier to walk, for example, than it is NOT to run.

Finally, ask the parents to practice transitioning behaviors at home with their children, so that they will have more practice. In that way, the child learns to exhibit new, positive transitioning skills in two settings, ensuring success in whatever setting in which they find themselves.

My Comments on a Parent's Statement that Children with ADHD should not be permitted to Participate in some Activities: Are you Kidding??

I received a rather upsetting question/comment awhile back about which I would like to comment. Here is the comment by a parent of a child who does not have ADHD:

“What can I do as a parent of a non-ADD or ADHD affected child, from thinking how "annoying" the ADHD kids are? For example, one little boy (ADHD- I overheard his mom telling the instructor) really disrupted a summer sports lesson tonight. The other kids were upset, the other parents were upset. My child has already expressed she does not want to go back. Some activities should not allow these children there. His mom was really trying but it was not enough.”

I became very upset when I read the sentence “Some activities should not allow these children there.” Many thoughts came to mind, with the very first one being “What has gone wrong in our world for parents to want to exclude another child from activities just because his behavior may be a little annoying?” How would that parent have felt if THEIR child was not permitted to participate in an activity?  

 Sadly, people like the person who commented to me just did not get it. What did they not get? They did not understand that children with ADHD do not want to behave in the way that they arguably do. They would much rather behave in an acceptable way which would be conducive to making friends. 

The most often asked question I am asked by a child with ADHD is, “Why don’t I have friends?” These children have social skills deficits that prevent them from learning positive skills, which leads them to exhibit inappropriate behavior.

The good news is that positive social skills can be taught, if they are taught by someone who is responsive to the child with ADHD’s learning strengths and learning styles.

Parents are their children’s first teachers. How can a parent educate their child to accept those children who are different if they themselves do not want them around?

TO ALL PARENTS WHO ARE READING THIS BLOG ENTRY:

Please let us remember that our children model our thoughts, ideas, actions and behavior. If a parent is critical of another child’s behavior and expresses the fact that a certain child should not be permitted to remain in an activity, the child himself will take on his parents’ beliefs and ideas as his own, which will lead to that child rebuffing and rejecting children with ADHD. Is that the kind of exclusive rather than inclusive behavior that our children should be taught today?

"I Forget to do Things because I have ADHD." When does that Argument Lose its Appeal?

Children with ADHD must become accountable for themselves. However, accountability and self-regulation may not appear to be easily accomplished, because these children’s ADHD may arguably cause them to exhibit certain symptoms.

One of the most persistent symptoms that characterizes children and adolescents with ADHD is forgetting.  Even though it is true that children with ADHD do forget to do certain things, which is actually a well-referenced symptom of ADHD, at some point, they must become accountable for their actions.

It is definitely more difficult for children and adolescents with ADHD to remember to do their homework, to put their homework in their school bags, to hang their clothes up in the closet, to pick up their toys, among other examples. However, the fact that they have ADHD may not be used as an excuse for their forgetting.

What happens if children with ADHD are permitted to use their ADHD as an excuse for their forgetting to do specific responsibilities? They then will arguably blame their difficulty remembering as well as their other symptoms on their ADHD, as well. 

Why is it so critical that children and adolescents with ADHD not blame their actions, such as forgetting on their ADHD? If they blame their symptoms on their ADHD, they will not work to try to learn certain methods of diminishing those symptoms. Therefore, they will not become responsible for their actions.

I have taught many children and adolescents with ADHD to become more adept at remembering. However, in order to ensure that they will succeed at learning those methods, they must be on board in terms of understanding that instead of blaming their forgetting as merely an unavoidable symptom of ADHD, they need to learn techniques that will help them to self-regulate and diminish their symptoms. In that way, they will be able to reduce their symptoms, such as forgetting.

Therefore, one of the most important lessons for children and adolescents with ADHD to learn is to become accountable for their actions. If they can learn to be responsible for their actions, these children will be on their way way to enjoying happy and successful lives, where they are responsible and accountable.

How to Help Children with ADHD to Organize their Thoughts and Ideas

Children with ADHD often have difficulty organizing their thoughts and ideas, which arguably may lead to them “getting stuck” in terms of articulating their ideas. In fact, this difficulty in terms of organizing their thoughts may lead to their speaking in sentences that are unrelated in topic to each other. How do people with whom these children are speaking respond to this type of disorganized conversation?

They invariably become annoyed because as much as they try, it is very difficult to maintain a conversation with someone who jumps from topic to topic. So, what can you do to help your child to speak in a more organized way?

In consideration that it is likely that he cannot discriminate whether or not his thoughts and statements are organized, it might be a good idea to write down his statements on small pieces of paper for him.  Read each sentence to him aloud. 

Then, tell him to read the sentences aloud to you. Ask him to organize the sentences in chronological order, i.e., which one should be said first, second, third, etc. As he is reading each sentence, ask him if each sentence should follow the one before it in terms of their meaning.

If you determine that his organization of the sentences is not in a chronologically correct order, have him read one sentence aloud at a time and ask him if the sentence that follows is in the correct chronological order.

If he senses that a sentence is out of order, tell him to move that sentence on the piece of paper that is written on around until he is satisfied that it correctly follows the one before it. Then, have him read those sentences aloud again to determine if they are finally organized in the correct chronological order. Try this method and let me know if it works.