Is Popularity a Risk for Girls with ADHD?

I know that I usually discuss the fact that children with ADHD arguably have difficulty making friends. However, that is not always the case. In some instances, especially in terms of girls who have a diagnosis of ADHD-Predominantly Inattentive Type (ADHD-I), they do make friends. However, that being said, they may be drawn into the idea that if they are asked to join the “popular group,” that both the girls in that group as well as themselves are more worthy than the other girls who are not in that group.


Since children with ADHD often do not see the worldview, or how others are seeing them, they may not see and/or understand this very important issue. How do these girls’ parents feel about their daughter who has ADHD being involved with the “popular group?” They are typically happy, but may not be aware that in some cases, that their daughter may be used in terms of situations such as, doing homework for the other girls, typing the other girls’ reports on her computer, etc.


I do not blame the girls with ADHDs’ parents for being happy that their child with ADHD has friends. However, if the main reason that their daughters want to be in that group is to feel needed, important, better, smarter, and/or prettier than the other girls, that reasoning must be discussed, in the least.


Many girls experience this same problem. However, girls with ADHD typically have lower self-esteem and are more vulnerable than girls who do not have ADHD. Their low self-valuation is typically due to how they feel about themselves, especially regarding their difficulty focusing and paying attention in class, following instructions, and forgetting to hand in some of the assignments. Their low self-esteem is also related to oftentimes having a history of being rejected and rebuffed by their peers.


It is great that your child has made a group of friends. However, remember to keep the channels of communication open with your child, so you can see any danger signs as quickly as possible. Do not be judgmental. Instead, express the fact that since you love and care about your child so deeply, you just want to make sure that she is aware of any group dynamics that may not be healthy for her.