How do Children with ADHD Build Good Character?

Good character? How do we describe good character? Of course, everyone defines good character differently. I would include the following, among others, in a list of traits that describes  a  person
 of good character:

• Being considerate of others
• Being kind to others
• Following through on what you say you are going to do
• Being honest
• Being reliable and dependable
• Thinking about others’ needs before satisfying your own needs
• Being fair to others in social interactions

How do children build good character? One way is for parents to model good character. However, we all know that children with ADHD are distractible and may not have focused on their parents’ modeling of those positive behaviors. You can try to write social stories with children who have ADHD about incorporating the above qualities within their behavior. You can also role play with these children as well, giving them opportunities to behave as someone who is exhibiting the positive behaviors that are associated with good character.

Here is another method that you might try, which involves an open-ended questioning of the child with ADHD: Ask the child with ADHD the following questions based on certain scenarios. The topics listed incorporate the qualities of having good character that I delineated above.

Being considerate of others: You are traveling on a bus. You have a seat, but an older woman does not have a seat and has to stand. What could you do to show consideration to this woman?

Being kind to others: A child in school has asked to play with some of the other children. He walks by them as they are playing kickball. He asks if he can play and they say “We have the teams picked already.” What could you say to the child who was rejected in order to show how
the other children could have behaved toward him in a kinder way?

Following through on what you say you are going to do: On Fridays after school, many of the children have playdates. Sam’s (the child with ADHD) mom made plans for him to play with Eric right after school. In fact, they were supposed to travel to Sam’s house on the school bus. As
the boys were playing in recess in school, Sam said to Eric, “I do not want to have a playdate today. I want to play my video games by myself.” What would you do to teach Sam how to rectify the situation when he did not do what he said he was going to do? What would you instruct Sam to say and to do next time?

Being honest: You are walking down the hallway of school and see a five dollar bill on the floor. What would be the honest thing to do?

Being reliable and dependable: Maria and her parents had a fifteen-year-old dog who had trouble walking due to arthritis. Both of her parents worked late, but Maria came home from school at 4:00 every day. What should Maria do each day when she comes home that would be reliable and dependable?

Thinking of others’ needs before satisfying your own needs: Every day when Erin walks off the bus, she runs home to go on the computer and plays computer games. Steven, a classmate of hers, is also on the bus. He has a club foot that has not yet been operated on. Steven has difficulty getting off the bus and has to walk home by himself because his mom worked. He walked home very slowly, and by the time he approached his house, it was almost dark outside. What is it that Erin could do that would involve thinking of others’ needs before satisfying her needs in this situation?

Being fair to others in social interactions: Jim is playing Monopoly with Phil. Jim has played Monopoly for a long time with his brothers. Phil, however, does not have much experience playing Monopoly or any other board game. What could Jim do to behave fairly with Phil in their social interactions, as they played Monopoly?