If you watch parents saying good-bye as the school bus arrives to take their children to school, each of the parents appear to be smiling and relaxed. I can tell you from a personal standpoint that this is not how they actually feel. Parents of a child with ADHD make a huge sigh immediately after their child has stepped onto the school bus in response to the feeling that they have succeeded in getting their child to school, despite their child’s dawdling and their arguing.
The following is what the parent might have said that morning: Please get dressed; the bus is coming in five minutes; Are you ready yet?; You are sitting on your bed staring and are not dressed yet; I have an appointment, so I cannot drive you to school today, so come on, let’s go.
Here is what the child might have said: I am coming! I am almost ready; I’m tired; Don’t rush me; You always rush me. Please, please drive me to school like yesterday. I’m coming, I’m coming! I can’t find my other shoe! Where is it?
The parents’ stress is derived from both the anticipation of what might happen on that morning, as well as what actually happens. They almost feel that what happens that morning is out of their control, which adds exponentially to their level of stress. Additionally, they feel worn down by the sometimes continuous arguing, haggling and/or bribing that occurs each and every day in terms of their interaction with their child with ADHD.
When parents of a child with ADHD looks to a friend to talk about her struggles with her child, typically, the parent soon realizes that not only does her friend have a short attention span, but she is not compassionate about her plight, because she does not share a similar experience in any way.
What happens next? The parent of a child with ADHD feels isolated and alone in trying to diminish the difficulties that she has with her child who has ADHD. Have any of you experienced those difficulties? Please tell us about what happened and how you handled the problem.
No comments:
Post a Comment