Making Friends: The Importance of Greeting Other Children Nonverbally

This is an easy one to explain. Imagine that child 1 is walking down the hall in school and another child approaches. Child 1 looks toward the ground or to the right or to the left. Child 2
gets the cue or signal that the first child does not want to be friendly. How? If child 1 wanted to be friendly, he would have turned his body toward child 2 and not only looked at him, but smiled at him, indicating a feeling of welcome. By looking at the ground or at the side, child 1 gave the impression that he had no interest in any sort of interaction. You may be saying, now, that is ridiculous. I have a couple of shy students who find it difficult to look at other children as they pass by, and they certainly do want to make friends. That may be true, but the children with ADHD must be taught exactly what their nonverbal body language means, especially
what it is saying to other approaching students.

What is body language, exactly? In my own personal definition, it is nonverbal behavior that a person exhibits, such as the way people walk; the way they carry themselves (lean closely over to others, stay back from others, etc.); the gestures they make (pointing, putting their hand on someone’s knee or shoulder, etc.); facial expressions (frowning, shaking their head in frustration, holding their head down, looking away during the conversation); or eye contact, among others. Children with ADHD must be accountable for their body language as well as their verbiage. They must be taught alternate ways of behaving. In order to be taught the more appropriate ways of interacting, they may first have to be taught how to role play. Children usually enjoy role playing, especially if it is done privately.

You can explain to children with ADHD that role playing is similar to scenes they see on television or in the movies, but done in a private context to teach them how to behave appropriately in public. The teacher can demonstrate role playing by playing both parts in a very short script. Oftentimes children without ADHD can benefit by role playing as well. In fact, the child without ADHD can be paired with a child with ADHD to create a modeling effect. In addition to the child with ADHD showing other children body language that communicates to them that he would like to be friends.