The Use of Self-Talk to Teach a Child with ADHD How Not to Take Something Without Permission

Most of you may think that it is assumed that children only take things with permission. Not so. Children with ADHD often do not live according to the rules of behavior that others assume to be correct. They find many things tempting that others do not. Most of the children whom I observed in my field research touched most things that they saw, whether they had permission to touch them or not. One boy’s mother had taught him not to touch another’s possessions as well as not to take another’s possessions.

However, he simply could not resist temptation. Small items, such as his mother’s lip balm, would tantalize him so much that he would have to take it. As I was observing one of the homeschool mothers teaching her son, he took her pair of scissors without permission. His mother then said, “Put my scissors away and get your own.” “Johnny, did you take my lip balm? Do you think you should have had my permission before you took it?”

How do you teach these children to resist temptation? That is a tough one. This is where self-talk is a good technique for children with ADHD to learn. The following is an example of SELF-TALK as it is related to trying to prevent oneself from exhibiting impulsive behavior such as taking something without permission.

The setting: The classroom. The circumstance: The child with ADHD notices the teacher’s brand new, shiny stapler and begins to walk over to touch it. The child is thinking about and looking at that brand new, shiny, red stapler on the teacher’s desk. He begins to walk over to pick it up and to touch it.

Method 1

1. The child thinks about touching the stapler.
2.He asks himself: “Is that stapler mine? Does it belong to me? Am I supposed to touch and to pick up things that do not belong to me?”
3.He answers “No.” to himself nonverbally.
4.He goes back to his seat.

Method 2

1.The child thinks about how cool the new stapler is and the fact that he wants to touch it.
2.He self-talks: “I am not supposed to touch a stapler that is not mine.”
3.He begins to walk over to the teacher’s desk to pick up the stapler.
4.He stops. He has a a stop sign at his desk that his teacher made for him in paper or cardboard form to remind him not to touch the stapler. He picks it up and thinks about trying to STOP himself from touching the stapler.
5.He asks himself, “Will my teacher be happy with my behavior if I pick up the stapler?”
6.He answers “no” to the previous question nonverbally, and walks back to his seat.