How to Teach your Child with ADHD to Behave when you are Upset

We all cannot be in a happy and relaxed mood each and every day. You may have experienced this situation. Perhaps you came home from a day at work and you were very upset because your boss criticized and embarrassed you in front of the other employees. You are clearly worried about your job performance, and therefore, your job security. Upon arriving home, you collapse into the recliner, close your eyes and are visibly upset.



Your child sees your body language, and typically in relation to a child with ADHD, he does not pick up on your social cues. You do not tell him anything as to what happened to you and why you are sitting with your eyes closed in the chair. He comes right up to you and begins to talk excessively, as many children with ADHD arguably do. You become quickly annoyed and say to him, such as, “Calm down. What is your problem? I just got home. Can’t you go and do something?”


What should you say to your child when you are upset, as in this example, so that you can help him to be sensitive to your emotional state? I do not think that it is necessary, and in fact, may add more worry than necessary, to tell a child all of the details as to what happened to you at work. However, what you can say is that you did not have a good day at work and that you are very exhausted. In that way, he does not think that you are upset with him and with a little guidance from you, he will learn to wait until you are ready to talk with him.

Here is an example of what you can say to him:


“Jimmy, I did not have a great day at work today and I am very tired. I will rest for a little while and then we can talk, okay?” In that way, the child knows that you will talk to him later, but for now, you need some time to relax.