Behaving Properly in Public

Learning to behave properly in public incorporates involves self-talk. As we have discussed previously, it is vital to teach children with ADHD how to self-talk as a way of self-regulating their behavior. You must be saying to yourself, how could these children manage to self-talk themselves through so many socially inappropriate behaviors? These children have to learn to manage those behaviors one at a time. If you have not realized it by now, learning positive social skills is a very slow process.

First, children with ADHD have to be aware of or be made aware of their social skills problems and the consequences that ensue as a result of exhibiting them. Second, these children have to be willing and interested in changing their socially inappropriate behavior. Third, they must change their socially inappropriate behavior to socially appropriate behavior. The reason why it is so important for them to change their behavior is so they can behave properly in public.

I always told my children that they can argue and fight at home, but when they were out in public they had to behave. If children with ADHD are observed behaving inappropriately in public, they will be ostracized by their peers. Children with ADHD, especially, are looked upon in ways that are stigmatizing and unfair. People look at these children’s behavior as a separate entity.

They do not seem to care about evaluating the child behind the behavior. As I have said before, children with ADHD do not choose to behave in the way that they do. Do you honestly think that they would choose to be distractible, exhibit excessive verbiage, and annoy people with whom they come into contact? I guarantee that they would not choose to be identified and characterized in that way.

How can teachers and parents help these children to learn to behave properly in public?

Teachers and parents need to teach children with ADHD that their behavior labels them. Therefore, these children’s behavior separates them out from other children. Since all people see initially is these children’s irritating and obstructive behavior, they immediately decide that they do not want to be around these children. The only way to combat other people’s prejudiced attitudes is for children with ADHD to behave properly in public.

It is your job as a teacher and as a parent to teach children with ADHD to diminish their socially inappropriate behavior in the ways that have been discussed here. Some of these methods are role playing; writing and reading social stories; conversing with children with ADHD about their socially inappropriate behavior; having children with ADHD view themselves on videotape so they can see the consequences of their actions; setting up a schedule of rewards for their socially appropriate behavior; and self-regulating their behavior, among others. If you as a teacher or parent have a positive, optimistic attitude that these children can and will be able to change their behavior, THEY WILL BUILD POSITIVE SOCIAL SKILLS and, therefore, WILL be able to change their behavior in public!!!