Clearly, every parent of a child/teenager with ADHD knows how important it is to build independence in their child. One of the most important, and arguably, the most important goal when raising a child with ADHD is to build self-reliance, self-regulation and independence.
The tasks that you teach your child so that he will reach those goals may be making his own lunch; initiating a play date; calling his grandparents himself to wish them a happy birthday; problem-solving his homework so that he is able to do most of it himself, with just a bit of help, etc.
However, sometimes, a parent’s language may obstruct that goal. For example, one of the parents of a child with whom I work told me the other day that “We have a Science Fair project to do this weekend.” This language, which certainly may not be detrimental to the child, may give the child the impression that the Science Fair project may not be his responsibility alone. Another comment from a parent was “Let’s go. We have a lot of homework to do.”
Even though certainly those comments from parents are not meant to be harmful, they may give the child/teenager the idea that his work is not his alone. Additionally, and more importantly, those comments may encourage the child to be more dependent on his parents, rather than behaving in an independent manner.
What do you think?
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