How do you feel when your child has a “meltdown” in public?

Well, the first thing that you are thinking to yourself is, “What must that woman be thinking who is observing my child’s behavior? They must think that I am a terrible mother!” Well, perhaps, if that woman is a terrible person! More likely, she will glance at the situation and say to herself, “I hope that that child feels better later,” and continue on wherever they were going. Do you remember when you were in a class and asked or answered a question and felt so ignorant and was sure that everyone was staring at you? Also remember when that happened to someone else? You did not think twice about it or paid little attention to their comments, right?

It is very important for you to think that no one is judging you. Why? If you think in this way, then you will not judge your child, but instead, realize that he cannot control his behavior at that moment. Our children with ADHD feel frustrations much of the time. If they somehow force themselves to hold every emotion together as they are trudging through the school day when they are required to complete their academic work amidst many distractions that occur in schools, they are likely to have some sort of “meltdown” at some point or another at home. These “meltdowns” can take many forms, from temper tantrums, to noncompliance, to falling asleep on the kitchen table as they are completing their homework.

If you learn what possibly can cause these “meltdowns” then you will be able to handle them better, which will decrease the likelihood of their occurrence as well as diminishing the time that each one lasts. Try talking to your child at a time of relaxation, such as watching a television show or playing catch as to what gets him so upset. Do not ask him closed-ended questions, such as, “When the teacher is getting ready to send everyone home, do you get upset?” That is a yes or a no question. You want to ask an open-ended question so that the child has to answer in some detail. An example is, “How do you feel at the end of the school day when everyone is rushing around trying to get ready to go home?” Remember that it is imperative for you to remain calm. Trust me in that your child does not want to lose control of his emotions any more that you want to observe him doing so.