It is vital to keep communication open with your child with ADHD. Sometimes a young child with ADHD, say six or seven, for example, may appear to be happy and self-assured. However, if a child has a diagnosis of ADHD, one can assume that he has exhibited inappropriate behavior in school. Sometimes parents may appear to overlook their child’s symptoms of ADHD at home, because he has always exhibited those symptoms. They may look at those symptoms as simply part of their child’s behavioral repertoire.
The child with ADHD may appear to be happy at home while he is being rejected at school. How would you know if your child has had a negative experience at school? Try to encourage a conversation about a time in school where he might have had a negative experience, perhaps at recess, for example.
The other day, a child came to see me who appeared happy and energetic. I began a conversation with him about whether or not he went out today at recess since it was raining, He told me that his class had stayed inside. I then asked him what he did inside and he said that he played with Legos. I then asked him if there had ever been a time that he was outside at recess when the other kids rejected him. He told me that there was a time recently when everyone was playing kickball and after he was “up,” the other boys told him that “you stink at kickball.”
I wanted to encourage more conversation about that incident when he was rejected by his peers, so I asked him to draw what had happened to him on that day. He drew a picture which included him walking away by himself after the boys told him that he “stinks” at kickball. Needless to say, we then talked more about his feelings. He said that he had felt very sad. We also discussed why he walked away and what he could do next time.
What do you think that he should have done, walked away or been assertive with the boys who were rejecting him?
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