Why would a Five-Year-Old Child with ADHD be so Angry?

I was speaking with a young woman yesterday who told me about her five-year-old nephew whom she suspected had ADHD and was very angry and defiant. She told me that her nephew was not only angry at home but was also angry at school, saying things to his teacher such as, “I don’t have to do the Math if I don’t want to.” “Don’t tell me to go out for recess. I am NOT going!” He also had temper tantrums at home as well as at school. Why would a five-year-old child be so angry?



First of all, as I told this woman, it is not typical for a five-year-old to be so angry. Second of all, I told her that oftentimes children who are angry behave in a defiant manner at home, but not at school. It concerned me that this child had temper tantrums and was defiant in school, where one would think that he would not want to embarrass himself.


Why would a five-year-old be so angry and defiant? Well, there may be many reasons.


Here is a possible list:


 The child is speech-delayed and becomes frustrated when he tries to express his thoughts.






 The child, due to the fact that he is very distractible finishes his schoolwork at a much slower pace than do his classmates. Additionally, he oftentimes cannot complete his work by the end of the time that the subject is being taught.






 There is a new baby at home and he feels that no one is paying attention to him. As far as he is concerned, negative attention is better than no attention.






 What is expected from him academically is not achievable for him at the moment.






 He wants to have friends but is very frustrated at his failure to make friends.






 He has a great deal of difficulty writing and is embarrassed when others see that his writing is not legible.






 He tries to listen to the teacher’s instructions but never remembers what she tells the class to do.






 Other children have been teasing him and making fun of him.






If any of those things have been happening to your child, write me, and I will give you some interventions to try. Trust me that this child does not want to be the “bad child,” who is constantly reprimanded by adults every day as well as being ignored by the other children due to his behavior. Please do two things:


 One: Try to be patient. Five-year-old boys with ADHD typically behave in a much younger fashion than children who are his age but do not have ADHD. At some point, he will behave in the same way as children who are his age do, but do not have ADHD. In other words, ADHD is a neurobiological and a DEVEOPMENTAL disorder, so that the child with ADHD will catch up with his peers at some point down the line.






 Write me, so that I can suggest some interventions that you can try with your child.