Before we discuss a specific method in order for a child to self-regulate his temper, it is important to point out that it is critical for the child with ADHD to understand that he must control his temper with adults. I am a firm believer in being honest and truthful to children with ADHD about exactly the difference between appropriate and inappropriate behavior. They must try to figure out what upset them so much as to cause them to have a temper tantrum in front of an adult.
Let us discuss this plan in steps: You can obviously eliminate any steps that are unnecessary or those that are too numerous for a child with ADHD to remember. You may find that designing task card might be useful here.
1. The child begins to become upset more easily than usual.
2. He takes three big, deep breaths, counting as he is breathing in and out. He closes his eyes and thinks of something pleasant, such as going out to dinner with his parents or getting a video game as a present.
3. Despite trying to do one or all of the things in step 2, he feels his temper coming on.
4. He tries to go for a walk somewhere as an attempt to calm down. For example, he could take a walk down the hall or to another teacher’s room who has been responsive to him.
5. He seeks someone out whom he feels he can talk to about what has upset him. This person could be the school psychologist, a friendly teacher, the school nurse, or an older student who acts as a mentor. He talks to that person about what has upset him.
6. He feels calmer now.
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