Methods to Teach Children with ADHD to Give a Compliment

It might facilitate the child with ADHD’s understanding of the other child’s behavior for the teacher to take a video of the other child (with the parents’ permission). Show the video to the child with ADHD. Point out to the child with ADHD exactly what the child does that demonstrates that he is being helpful. This video can be a two- or three-minute video from any still digital camera to which the teacher has access. How should a child give a compliment?


The teacher, the teacher’s assistant, or an aide can serve as a coach to the child with ADHD and teach him to do the following:






✱ If the child with ADHD is interacting with the other child in some way, then the natural thing would be to give a compliment while they are interacting. If they are playing at recess, the child with ADHD can say, “Jess, your outfit looks cool,” for example. Presumably, the other child will say “Thank you,” and then the child with ADHD can say, “You are welcome.” Or . . .






✱ “Those are delicious cookies that you made. Can you give me the recipe?” Or . . .






✱ “What a great hit you made today at softball in recess. It helped us to win the game.”


These responses will not be automatic with the child with ADHD, however. You will have to practice faux scenarios and teach the child with ADHD to role play so he learns how to give a compliment. Role playing is a skill that has to be taught to the child with ADHD so he can practice any of the social skills interventions that I discuss here. If the child with ADHD is not currently involved with the child in question but would like to give a compliment, how would he do so? In that case the child can try the following:






✱ Walk near to the child.






✱ Make a judgment, by evaluating the other child’s body language, if the other child is “available.” What do I mean by “available”? A child might be “available” if he has a smile on his face. The other child may also be “available” if he looks up in a forthcoming way when the child with ADHD approaches and says hello to the child or if he gives any indication that he would like to make a friend.






✱ If the child with ADHD deems that the other child is “available,” then he can offer a compliment, as above.


What are some other typical compliments that a child can give to another child? Here are some examples:






✱ “Those are cool sneakers? Where did you find them?”






✱ “I like your braids.”






✱ “That is a great jacket. I bet it keeps you warm.”






✱ “I like the star you painted. It looks like a real star.”






✱ “The name on your desk that you designed looks awesome.”


Your job as a teacher in this process is to make sure that the compliments one child is giving to another are not self-deprecating. The child with ADHD needs practice, practice, and more practice in order to learn how to give compliments fairly and gracefully, without showing any vulnerability.


Teachers can use puppets to instruct children with ADHD to practice giving compliments. You can make up little vignettes quite easily that will incorporate a child giving another child a compliment. Here are a few examples that you can try:






✱ Two children are making block buildings next to each other. One of the buildings is very high, built by stacking the blocks one on top of another by size order. What could the child who did not build the high structure say to the other? What could the child who did build the high structure say to the other?






✱ One child comes to school with new sneakers and a new book bag. What could another child say to him?






✱ One child comes to school with a new haircut after the weekend. What could another child say to him?






✱ On Friday afternoon, before leaving for home, one child cleans his desk and organizes his pencils, crayons, scissors, paper, and other materials in specific sections in his desk. What could the other child say to him?






✱ Even though the teacher did not ask her to do it, one girl made cookies for the whole class for someone’s birthday. What could another child say to her?






✱ The teacher hurt her arm the day before and is wearing a soft cast. One child helps her pick up papers that dropped on to the floor. What could another child say to her?